Whining and Complaining

I hear the words come out of my mouth, and I can't believe it. I am kvetching and complaining about every little ache and pain. After all I have been through, after all the days of feeling really exhausted and yucky, why now am I suddenly moaning about feeling bad?

It's not like anyone can do anything about it, especially not the boys. I know full well that I am on the upswing and gaining strength everyday. My hair continues to grow in, the white lines on my fingernails are fading. Soon I will be back to my normal self. Or as close as I can get.

So what's the big deal with being fussy? Am I afraid that once I look normal, people will expect me to pick up where I left off whether I am ready or not? That's silly. No one has remotely suggested such a thing.

Am I just impatient to get back at it and frustrated that I am still not feeling well? Maybe. But I know I can't rush. Am I just having a grumpy day? Probably. I guess it is to be expected, but everytime I hear myself say that my legs ache or my back hurts or my stomach is queasy, I want to stuff the words back in my mouth and clap my hand over it.

I refuse to turn into the maiden aunt that no one wants to be around because she constantly complains about all her aches and pains. Perhaps I will take a nap and see if that improves my disposition. Yes, a nap. One is always in a better mood after a nice long nap.