On Beyond LaMaze

Before Sugar made a peep, before the church bells tolled 5am, before my brain could tell my eyes to open, pain interrupts my day. I have had various bouts of lower left back pain for a long time, but today is that knife edge not-to-be-ignored variety that demands immediate intervention.

I drag myself to the bathroom and wait impatiently for the water to run hot, draped over the sink with my head on my arm, my hand on the faucet willing the cold metal to blaze with heat. My breath comes in short bursts, my other hand cradling my side, massaging imaginary muscle knots. This pain runs deep, more the kidney stone variety. I take a deep breath and let it out with a shudder. Finally, hot water pours from the pipes and I fill the small red bag.

I flop down on my bed and jam the hot water bottle far into my side as if I could inject the heat like morphine. I begin to rock slowly side to side, curling into a fetal position. Uh, Uh, Uh. Instinctively and without realizing I am doing it, my brain combines two coping techniques and I begin something akin to controlled meditative Scripture prayer breathing.

Somehow, the focused breathing patterns I learned from Lamaze for controlling pain in childbirth and labor intertwined with the meditative technique of breathing a selected thought prayer and added in the strength that repeating Scripture has provided and I found myself inhaling and exhaling Psalm 23 phrases in patterns that matched the waves of pain.

Inhale, exhale.
Inhale, exhale.
The, Lord.
Is, my.
Shep, herd.
I, shall.
Not, want.
Deep cleansing breath. Blow it all out.
Repeat.

Pant, pant, pant, pant.
The, Lord, is, my, Shep, herd.
Breathe.

Next phrase.
Inhale, Exhale.
Slow the pace. Try to ratchet it down.
I, shall.
Not, want.
He, makes.
Me, to.
Lie, down.
In, green.
Pas, tures.

Rats. Lost my focus. Start over. The, Lord . . .

After twenty minutes, the pain is subsiding. I am breathing more normally. I continue to pray breathe Psalm 23 for awhile even after I stop rocking back and forth. Whew! Thank God that's over. Hey, maybe I should patent this stuff. Its way better than drugs!