Every day I FaceTime with my brother to see how Mom is doing. She has stopped being able to speak to me even for ten seconds. Most of the time she sleeps. She is turned every hour to prevent bedsores and has a nurse give her a sponge bath daily. Hospice checks on her routinely and they assure my siblings that Mom is on a usual course and in a typical place for someone dying in this manner. They monitor to make sure she is comfortable and have provided pain patches should she be in distress.
She has not been able to speak for awhile. Mostly mumbles and they guess what she needs. But yesterday she clearly said "My Mother." When they asked her what about her mother, she did not respond. They asked her if she knew her mother's name, she glared at them and said, "Nellie." Then back to sleep. We wonder if she is beginning to see over Jordan. Maybe.
One of my professors told us that dying is a process just like birthing. It takes work, labor, pain and time. Progress for birthing is documented by physical changes and in that same way, sometimes death can be measured by physical changes. Unfortunately, we don't really have any charts that mark what stage of labor the dying person might be in. It would make things easier on those of us who are standing by. Just as in a birth, you can't take on the pain for the mother to be, so in dying, you cannot do the work of the person passing. It is hard to watch, yet necessary that they not be left alone to do all the work.
So regardless of whether Mom is asleep, in a coma or awake, someone is sitting in the room with her. She is not left alone. Even the dog Cody has stayed with her and senses something unfolding. Medical professionals check on a regular basis and we all pray for a speedy labor. I cannot imagine what this must feel like for Mom and she cannot tell us.
I do think that those on the far side of Jordan are cheering her on, encouraging her to be "born" and expectantly looking forward to her arrival, just as we do with a new baby. God promised to prepare a place for us (like we decorate a nursery) and I am sure it will be perfect for Mom. All is ready. We await on both sides of the river.
She has not been able to speak for awhile. Mostly mumbles and they guess what she needs. But yesterday she clearly said "My Mother." When they asked her what about her mother, she did not respond. They asked her if she knew her mother's name, she glared at them and said, "Nellie." Then back to sleep. We wonder if she is beginning to see over Jordan. Maybe.
One of my professors told us that dying is a process just like birthing. It takes work, labor, pain and time. Progress for birthing is documented by physical changes and in that same way, sometimes death can be measured by physical changes. Unfortunately, we don't really have any charts that mark what stage of labor the dying person might be in. It would make things easier on those of us who are standing by. Just as in a birth, you can't take on the pain for the mother to be, so in dying, you cannot do the work of the person passing. It is hard to watch, yet necessary that they not be left alone to do all the work.
So regardless of whether Mom is asleep, in a coma or awake, someone is sitting in the room with her. She is not left alone. Even the dog Cody has stayed with her and senses something unfolding. Medical professionals check on a regular basis and we all pray for a speedy labor. I cannot imagine what this must feel like for Mom and she cannot tell us.
I do think that those on the far side of Jordan are cheering her on, encouraging her to be "born" and expectantly looking forward to her arrival, just as we do with a new baby. God promised to prepare a place for us (like we decorate a nursery) and I am sure it will be perfect for Mom. All is ready. We await on both sides of the river.
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