The DVD is called "Gentle Stretching for Senior Citizens." Sounded good to me. I pop it in the player, and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a skinny, perky, 20 something girl with a high squeaky voice who is obviously double jointed, gyrating on a teeny little mat all the while telling me I can do it too. Would you believe blondie's name is Sunshine? I am serious!
I have an overwhelming desire to reach into the screen, grab her arms, make her stopping jumping about, and tell her that once she has had children, cancer, life stress and aging, she will not be so quick to tell us old goats what we can and cannot do! Just for kicks, I push fast forward and watch her bounce around in double time. I start laughing. Tigger for sure. She should watch herself at triple speed. Then she would have some idea what she is asking of us!
Seriously, I do want to begin somewhere with getting back into shape, if that is even possible. I had hoped that perhaps following some regimen in the privacy of my own living room might get me to a place where I could venture into some gym without embarrassing myself too much. Sigh. OK, maybe I can follow at least some of what she is doing. I am pretty sure I can't put my foot up over my head regardless of whether I am standing or lying down, but I can breath and wiggle my ankles and wrists and move my arms and legs some.
She starts out lying down on her mat. At least she is surrounded by a beautiful mountain landscape. I lie down. Now lift your leg. Now your other leg. Now -- wait, wait! Cramp! Seriously, leg cramp. I hit pause and hobble about until it passes. This is not good. I am in worse shape than I thought. OK. Press play. Let's just skip this part. The rest of it went better, though I probably only did about a quarter of what she asked, and then not to the extent of perfection she was obviously expecting.
But that's OK. Do what you can. I am already breathing deeper. I can tell by how much more coughing I am doing! I won't get discouraged. At least not yet. By tomorrow my leg should be able to handle the twisting and turning. Hopefully. And this is just the stretching part. Wait till I get to cardio and strength stuff! Good Lord. So much to do. So little time! Now where is that cup of steaming English Afternoon tea? It must be at least mid day by now!
I have an overwhelming desire to reach into the screen, grab her arms, make her stopping jumping about, and tell her that once she has had children, cancer, life stress and aging, she will not be so quick to tell us old goats what we can and cannot do! Just for kicks, I push fast forward and watch her bounce around in double time. I start laughing. Tigger for sure. She should watch herself at triple speed. Then she would have some idea what she is asking of us!
Seriously, I do want to begin somewhere with getting back into shape, if that is even possible. I had hoped that perhaps following some regimen in the privacy of my own living room might get me to a place where I could venture into some gym without embarrassing myself too much. Sigh. OK, maybe I can follow at least some of what she is doing. I am pretty sure I can't put my foot up over my head regardless of whether I am standing or lying down, but I can breath and wiggle my ankles and wrists and move my arms and legs some.
She starts out lying down on her mat. At least she is surrounded by a beautiful mountain landscape. I lie down. Now lift your leg. Now your other leg. Now -- wait, wait! Cramp! Seriously, leg cramp. I hit pause and hobble about until it passes. This is not good. I am in worse shape than I thought. OK. Press play. Let's just skip this part. The rest of it went better, though I probably only did about a quarter of what she asked, and then not to the extent of perfection she was obviously expecting.
But that's OK. Do what you can. I am already breathing deeper. I can tell by how much more coughing I am doing! I won't get discouraged. At least not yet. By tomorrow my leg should be able to handle the twisting and turning. Hopefully. And this is just the stretching part. Wait till I get to cardio and strength stuff! Good Lord. So much to do. So little time! Now where is that cup of steaming English Afternoon tea? It must be at least mid day by now!
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