NES Women's Retreat

I thought about going, but with so much going on and so little money to take care of all the needs, I put off deciding until the last minute, just to make sure I would have enough energy and resources to do it. After all, it is not a necessity. Something nice if you can swing it, but not required, going on a retreat. Or is it?

When my seminary professor called me to ask if I were planning on going, I kibitzed. I was loathe to commit either strength or money. But she felt that I should be there. She asked for me to make a decision. I heard myself say yes, then hung up the phone and wondered why on earth I had done that. Perhaps it was not too late to back out.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that even if I could see no real driving need to come away from my normal routine for some time dedicated to being quiet and hearing God, perhaps God was needing to get my attention. So with great procrastination, I arranged for someone to cover my afternoon reference shift, took care to see that the boys had what they needed food wise to get through a day or so without me, made sure they would see to Sugar's need, and packed an overnight bag.

Still I lingered at home, puddling around with nothing, reticent to begin my drive an hour south to the Abbey of the Genesee. Its not like I haven't been there before. I did a retreat during the Core classes and enjoyed the peace of their monastery. I experienced a meaningful Good Friday there. And I love spending time in God's presence. What is keeping me from joyfully bounding out the door?

Perhaps I am afraid God will require something of me that I am not prepared to do. Perhaps I am always such an independent person that the thought of sharing time with a group of other women is a stretch for me. Perhaps things are going so well that I don't believe I need a time of seeking the face of God. Perhaps I just have other fish to fry. Whatever the reason, I realize that this is likely JUST the thing I need right now to keep me from getting off track. And so I tear myself away, fill the gas tank (gulp) and plug in my Tom Tom.

The drive down is pleasant and refreshing in itself. One forgets that outside the city limits lies a vast countryside filled with the goodness of God. I thought to listen to some CDs of good choral music, but preferred to be absorbed with the mountains, fields, and flowers passing my window. And in the quiet of the drive, already the Lord began whispering things to my heart. Ideas that had not had a chance to surface in the noise of everyday life. Encouragements about what I am doing. Prayers of deep desire for my children and grandchildren that had found no release. A sense of presence and love, peace and deep connection.

Ah, this is going to be a wonderful excursion after all. I ought to know how precious such times can be. I navigate into the driveway of Bethany House where we are lodging and park just in time for the Vespers service at the main abbey. OK. I am on board. I recall Isaiah 2:5:

"Come, O house of Jacob, let us walk in the light of the LORD."

This retreat is titled "Bringing Light into the Darkness." I am ready to listen.