Speaking in Chapel

Today I had the honor of talking with Roberts students about what a cancer patient experiences, what is helpful and supportive, what they can do when someone they care about has cancer. Like most of us, we think of a cancer diagnosis as a death sentence, something we can do nothing about. We wring our hands and feel helpless. We begin grieving.


Truth is that many cancer patients, whether they die of cancer or are cured, have some length of time during treatment when they will need our help and support. Some of the most wonderful gifts I received were the beautiful cards people sent me, especially those that included a Bible verse, a promise of better days, something long term to fix my eyes on. Cards are wonderful.


Then there were people who drove me to appointments and prayed with me and for me before, during and after appointments and procedures. I think of my dear friend Beth who held my ankles as they installed my Groshong catheter, and Sherri as she held my feet while I underwent the stomach biopsy and Peggy who sat and knitted prayer shawls while I had scans and MRI's done.

My friend Diane brought me an elegant dinner when I was having a day of chemo - complete with china and tablecloth, candles and flowers. We had a wonderful time eating in the little pod. Even the nurses came to see.

Music is a wonderful encouragement while sitting for a whole day undergoing some chemo or other lengthy medical treatment. My friend Chris sent me a CD with his favorite picks and I listened to that CD a lot. Now I have a new friend who comes and sings a hymn with me once a week as I am working hard on getting back up to speed.

Sometimes friends just pop into my office to see how I am doing and they pray for me right on the spot. How uplifting is that! Or they Facebook me or call me or text me just to tell me that they are thinking about me and praying for me. I am very blessed.

People I hardly knew made meals for me and my family. Some quietly gathered up the dirty laundry and took it home and washed, dried, and folded it for weeks in a row. Others dropped off bags of groceries, helped me pay the bills, mailed letters for me, organized my kitchen, and even hired someone to come in once a week to clean the kitchen and bathrooms! Phenomenal. Appreciated. Necessary. Practical. Helpful.

One time before surgery, I asked the pastor to meet me in the hospital chapel for prayer. I was terrified that I would die in the surgery and could not get past the fear. He brought half the church with him, and together, we recited Psalm 23 and the Lord's Prayer. Then he anointed my head with oil, and my hands with rose water - in the sign of the cross. He prayed that God would be with me all day, and told me that when I felt afraid, to smell the fragrance of the rose water to remind me that all my brothers and sisters in Christ would be praying for me.

The fear left as each person hugged me, prayed for me, whispered a verse of encouragement in my ears. God was with me, and they reminded me that I was not alone. It is still one of the highlights of my journey with cancer.

Yes, there IS much we can do to come alongside cancer patients and stand with them in their battles. Don't be afraid to do it. You would be surprised - if you offer - how many patients are relieved to have someone with them, even if all you do is sit there. We are so impacted by the idea that someone is facing death that we back off. But in truth, that's when we should step up.

I encourage you to get involved. Just do one little thing. What could it hurt to ask? It could make all the difference.