Chemo

Here we go again. Another maintenance round. I am counting on this to keep the cancer at bay. I have steeled my heart to endure whatever it brings, praying that the pain and fog will clear in plenty of time for my recital to happen with me back to full force. I am at peace as I wander into the infusion center and meet my nurse.

She explains that the doctor has not yet written orders and she is trying to contact her. The couple in the pod next to mine are preparing for oral surgery to help deal with the effects of past treatments and ongoing health issues. Once again I am reminded of how fortunate I am that I have not encountered these issues.

They talk non stop. I am worn out with their angst! But I listen respectfully. It is not easy to go through these things. Suddenly the nurse appears with my premeds. She tells me that I am getting a more concentrated form of Rituxan this time. I panic for a moment, picturing doubled impact of pain and fatigue. I shake it off and put it in God's hands.

The nurse tells me that due to the strength of the Rituxan, they are doubling the steroids and Benedril and all. Yikes! Something tells me I will sleep through the infusion. I dutifully swallow each little pill, pink, white, blue. The familiar bitterness overtakes my mouth and I ask for a gingerale from the hospitality cart, along with animal crackers, Weight Watchers not withstanding.

I settle back in the comfy chair and try to read. I am just completing Ted Dekker's Circle books. The words blur on the page and I nod off. Then the nurse returns to hook up the Rituxan and take my blood pressure. Doing well. She hangs an IV of fluids to dilute the chemo (it usually works better that way) and leaves me again to my dozing.

The hours fly by, and soon it is late afternoon and I am done. My premeds haven't begun to wear off yet. I know I will sleep for the rest of the day. That's why I choose Friday, so I can recover as much as possible over the weekend. We shall see what this weekend will bring! A speedy recovery, I hope.