The doctor suggested that I learn to give myself my Vitamin B shots. That way I won't have to take time and money to come in for it, and this is a lifelong activity. Sigh. Yes, I can do it. I learned how to give shots when Michael was so sick. We practiced on oranges back then. That is the one real bummer about this - every time I give myself a shot, I will be thinking about Michael and missing him.
I check in at the front desk, then take a seat. The warm sun pours in through the windows and I close my eyes, drinking it in and enjoying the feeling of being cozy. The nurse calls my name and I follow her back to her office. She is upbeat and filled with anticipation for me. "Are you excited?" she asks.
"Not really," I reply, my shoulders slumping. What if I can't get the hang of this? What if I just don't want to stab myself? What if - she interrupts my thoughts with a cheerful "You'll do just fine. Lots of people give themselves shots all the time. I teach dozens of diabetics. It not difficult." Surprisingly, I find myself encouraged and my hope levels rise based on her upbeat attitude and confidence. Thank God for nurses who understand.
She shows me how to cleanse the vial top and the leg site, how to draw the B vitamin solution into the syringe, how to pinch my leg, 1, 2, 3, stab, press plunger, count to 5, withdraw. Piece of cake really. And the needle is so sharp and thin that I barely feel it. Phew! Not so bad. I gather my prescriptions and head for the door. Thank you for making that easy.
In my car, I take a moment to write myself a few notes for next month when I will do it by myself. The nurse told me that if I am nervous about doing it on my own, I can come in and she will watch to make sure I do it right. I might take her up on that. After all, a month is a long time to remember this. It's comforting to know I have that option.
Then I giggle. How many people would offer to watch you shoot yourself?
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