Independence or Help

Snow. Lots of it coming down all day. From the reference desk I can see the swirling white blizzard burying everything in sight. It will not be an easy, albeit pretty drive home. At last, after a long day of finding materials, going to meetings, solving glitches and talking with professors, I am free to leave.

I bundle up, swathing my face in my warm blue woolen scarf. I pull mittens over my blue gloves, snap down the front of my coat, toss my hood over my head and trudge out the back door through foot deep piles of fluffy stuff and head to my car, a mound of whiteness surrounded by piles of sloppy slush.

I hit the door lock on my keychain and can barely see the yellow lights blinking. I brush the snow away from the back door before opening it to retrieve my car brush and scraper. I begin pushing the light stuff off the roof down the front windshield to the sidewalk in front of the car. Beneath the light fluff is a thick layer of ice.

Suddenly the snow on the other side of the roof is being brushed off. Someone is helping me. My first reaction is (shame on me) - "hey! I am a strong independent woman. I don't need your help. I am just fine by myself. Stop helping me." Immediately on the heels of that thought is - "who is this kind stranger lending a hand? I am so grateful that I won't have to stand here for as long scraping the ice off my now warming car."

We are taught to be independent, to not seek help when we need it, to insist on doing it ourselves. This is so ingrained that we forget how contrary that is to how God planned life to be. At very least, to depend on family, and at best that the whole world be concerned for and help anyone in need.

My friend Bob was aghast that his new condo association intentionally parked cars across their entrance on the 4th of July to keep the riff-raff out when the fireworks across the lake were happening. Bob wanted to invite the nearby community (trailer park too) to come see the dazzling displays right on the beach front. Maybe even throw a barbecue.

Its a delicate balance between offering mutual assistance and not encouraging unhealthy dependence. As for me, I am sitting in my cleared off car warming up and out of the piercing wind much quicker thanks to the kindness of CLC Director who was waiting for his wife. I am most grateful for the unsolicited help. And I will work on the knee jerk reaction of being so fiercely independent.