It happens all the time. People - and here I mean especially men - see me with my gray hair topping an overweight body and immediately think "old and uneducated." Then they subconsciously also realize I am a woman. And once they ask me what I do and find out I am a librarian, the deal is clinched and I am relegated to the periphery as having nothing of interest to offer (after all, women are supposed to be young, beautifully shapely and interested only in you!). Three strikes, I am out. I can read it on their faces plain as if they said it out loud. They turn to the next person and ignore me graciously, having no idea what they might be missing.
I fully admit that I do not present a typical image of someone with half a brain or involvement with projects that might prove interesting. After all, if one is intelligent, one will not be overweight. My body is a wreck. In some people's minds, I look like a typical elderly commonplace housewife/widow whose whole effort in life is to keep the house clean and the meals on the table and they have a hard time just doing that.
It *is* irritating to be dismissed so quickly. Sometimes I want to scream at them that I am an educated women with concerns that far exceed housekeeping, but that does no good, even if I included my smoking high IQ (which, I will wager, far exceeds their educated little heads).
So I hang around listening in to what *I* would consider banal conversation until an opportunity opens for a comment. Just a simple quiet interjection made as I butt into their topic of choice. I am always amused at the reaction. First, they turn, surprised that I said something. Then they are shocked that it is me saying it. Then the light dawns that perhaps I am not so easily dismissed after all. The eyes widen and the mouth drops open and for a moment they are at a definite disadvantage trying to process the contradiction that I am actually not stupid. Or for that matter, common.
I have to repeat the comment before I am allowed to be drawn into their conversation. But invited in I am, and that, of course, in their minds, erases what I call "the snub." They are seldom even aware that they have done it. Really, I don't know why it bugs me so much. But every time I encounter it, I do a self check to see if I have treated anyone that way. To my dismay, I sometimes discover I am as guilty as they are of judging someone based on superficial stereotyping. Shame on me. I ought to know better. I certainly don't like it when someone treats me that way. I determine to be on the outlook for my own bad behavior.
Bottom line is that everyone has something interesting to offer regardless of age, shape, size, education, manners, health, gender, ethnicity or whathaveyou. So snubbing is out. Genuine openness is in. As for the unfair stereotype of librarian, well, I'll take that up another day. People would be shocked at how much a librarian has to know (why do you think we have to do at least 2 master's degrees???).
I fully admit that I do not present a typical image of someone with half a brain or involvement with projects that might prove interesting. After all, if one is intelligent, one will not be overweight. My body is a wreck. In some people's minds, I look like a typical elderly commonplace housewife/widow whose whole effort in life is to keep the house clean and the meals on the table and they have a hard time just doing that.
It *is* irritating to be dismissed so quickly. Sometimes I want to scream at them that I am an educated women with concerns that far exceed housekeeping, but that does no good, even if I included my smoking high IQ (which, I will wager, far exceeds their educated little heads).
So I hang around listening in to what *I* would consider banal conversation until an opportunity opens for a comment. Just a simple quiet interjection made as I butt into their topic of choice. I am always amused at the reaction. First, they turn, surprised that I said something. Then they are shocked that it is me saying it. Then the light dawns that perhaps I am not so easily dismissed after all. The eyes widen and the mouth drops open and for a moment they are at a definite disadvantage trying to process the contradiction that I am actually not stupid. Or for that matter, common.
I have to repeat the comment before I am allowed to be drawn into their conversation. But invited in I am, and that, of course, in their minds, erases what I call "the snub." They are seldom even aware that they have done it. Really, I don't know why it bugs me so much. But every time I encounter it, I do a self check to see if I have treated anyone that way. To my dismay, I sometimes discover I am as guilty as they are of judging someone based on superficial stereotyping. Shame on me. I ought to know better. I certainly don't like it when someone treats me that way. I determine to be on the outlook for my own bad behavior.
Bottom line is that everyone has something interesting to offer regardless of age, shape, size, education, manners, health, gender, ethnicity or whathaveyou. So snubbing is out. Genuine openness is in. As for the unfair stereotype of librarian, well, I'll take that up another day. People would be shocked at how much a librarian has to know (why do you think we have to do at least 2 master's degrees???).
No comments:
Post a Comment