Middle Son

I don't get to see him often, even though he only lives a four hour drive away. He has his hands full trying to keep his boat afloat and everyone in it.  You never know quite what to expect when you see him, but I am determined to spend some time with him - just him - while I am in the area. It took some finagling to convince the other kids to take my grandchildren and go somewhere else with them so that I could talk with him freely, but they did it even though I could tell they thought it a bad idea. Sometimes you just have to make the noise go away so you can concentrate on the important things.

I had prayed for this conversation to go well. I have not been able to be much help to this son but my heart hurts for his situation. He has not been in a place to be able to hear me when I tried to communicate. Today for the first time since he was young, I felt as if we finally were able to have an honest and uninterrupted heart to heart chat. I don't know how he felt afterwards. I hope he was at least encouraged even if he could not feel my love. I thought I saw some little crack in the wall between us, some ray of light that indicated a softening, a reconciliation of sorts. Time will tell.

For now though, I bless him as I am able and try to get him to understand how much I care - not about all the craziness that has run between us, but about him. Not buying into his less-than-ideal decisions, but wanting people to come alongside him and show him a better way to approach life. He is such a gifted talented man. If only he could know that and use his gifts wisely. All in good time. All in good time. I am hopeful that we can keep the momentum going and the communication open.