Black Friday

There is no way I will go anywhere near a mall today. In fact, since my chemo has hit royally, there is no way I am going anywhere at all today. Drew wants to spend some time with friends and asks me to drive him there. I look at him like he has lost all his marbles. You got to be kidding. His face falls. He disappears. I hate this stuff. He shouldn't have to give up seeing friends just because I feel horrible. But there is no way. I can barely manage to sit in a chair.

Drew returns. His friend's Mom will pick him up today if I will come and get him tomorrow. I hesitate. Will I be up to it tomorrow? I hate to commit and then have to renege. But his pleading eyes are hard to resist. OK. I will do my best. I am not sure about this at all. Besides, I know he has not done his homework yet. STOP! He is an adult. You cannot force him into making the right decisions. You will be lucky to prevent him from making damaging ones.

He dances off in glee to get ready. I realize this means another day alone and that I will have to somehow find the strength to walk Sugar. I ask Drew to take her out one last time before he leaves, but his ride has arrived and he doesn't want to make them wait. Sigh. Its good for me to have to make myself move when I have no energy. That's why I got the dog in the first place. Remember? Right.

Moving is better than not moving. As a faculty colleague of mine says, "As long as you can move, you will be OK." OK is good. It doesn't get the paper written, but its still good. Keep me going, Julian. “All shall be well. All shall be well. All manner of things shall be well.”