Worried About Mom

I am officially a member of the sandwich group - torn between caring for my grown children and grandchildren, and caring for my parents. Or parent, in this case. It seems like a century ago when I said goodbye to Mom as she was packed up and taken down to my sister's to recover from a pulled back muscle.

I spent as much time with her as I could while she rested at my sister's here in Rochester, and was glad for our short time together. But since she has arrived in Tennessee, I feel as if we have been cut off. She doesn't feel able to chat on the phone. She no longer monitors her email. She prefers me not to send her cards and magazines. She has shut down.

My sister just spent the holidays with her, probably the most difficult time of the year for her, since Dad passed away just before Christmas last year. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to adjust to life without the one person around whom your entire existence revolved for 60 years. Of course she is grieving, and struggling to figure out how to go on alone. Of course she has lost interest in the day to day business of life.

She didn't want anyone coming at Christmas, and I understand that. But I think the time has come for me to see her again. I am planning on flying down because I am afraid that if she doesn't move beyond her grief, she may well die of a broken heart. My sister thinks that a very real possibility.

I have no idea how to help her other than to pray for and with her, and to quote Bible verses of encouragement. But the will to live is not something I can magically instill. And who am I to say that she must go on in the face of her sorrow. God knows what she needs and how to help her, and I must trust that He will do just that.

As for me, I go because I love Mom and I hurt to see her so wounded. She has always been there for me. The least I can do is be there for her even if she does not want me to be. Prayers are much appreciated.