Still Standing - Sort Of

Oy. Three days of feeling like you've been plowed into by a truck. Maybe I can just sleep through most of it. I decide to stay in bed until almost 10am - an unheard of event. Then I actually sat in a chair and didn't do anything but rest. I fussed a bit about the paper I need to write which is due Tuesday, but there isn't anything I can do about it. It will have to wait. Hopefully I can address it in a day or two when I am feeling better.

Sugar climbed into the chair with me, and curled up with a sigh. She is moping probably because I am none too active. Together we close our eyes and drift in and out of sleep. I can only tell that time is passing because the sunshine and shadows change angles. While I dream, I let the chemo sweep any cancer cells out of my system. Today I make no progress forward. I also do not slide backwards. I stand still, treading time while my chassis undergoes maintenance.

I am aware of the presence of God touching my heart, restoring my confidence, pulling me back from the precipice of darkness. I rest, I wait quietly, I receive the strengthening of God, I allow it to wash over me, feeling the tenderness and positive encouragement. Soul maintenance. Mind renewal. Bits of Psalms float in and out of my sleepy consciousness. God is my rock. God is my strength. God is my joy. God is my wholeness.

I do not move, I do not work. I simply inhale the restoration. It is good. I am blessed.