Voicing Joy

A day of meetings, of running from one event to another, of sandwiching doctor appointments and port draws in between. Busy. I feel slightly off balance, unorganized, somehow falling down on the job. I juggle laundry and reading assignments and dishes and walking the dog with worship planning and exploring new systems for the library and assisting myriads of students with connecting to resources. It is a whirlwind of activity. Am I doing OK? Maybe. I am reticent to thinking I am all better just yet.

My final run of the afternoon is to the cancer clinic for my weekly port draw, then a drive to get back to the library before my 5 pm shift at the reference desk. The afternoon is marvelously drenched in sunshine and blue sky syndrome, the birds singing heartily. I do not rush. I put a CD in the player - a wonderful choir singing a setting of Psalm 23 - lots of brass and percussion.

I love this setting. I find myself singing along, despite my voice not being what it should, my vocal cords not entirely healed. I start singing in the bass range, then work my way up to tenor. Hit repeat. I can manage alto now. Hit repeat. Good thing my windows are closed, but I wonder if the people in the other cars stopped at the traffic lights can hear my music. I don't sing when the light is red and I have to stop.

I hit a long stretch of road behind the airport, and I bop along singing - at the top of my lungs! All of a sudden, I hear a solidness in my sound that has not been there for a long time. I can get that chesty contralto volume that has eluded me since way last year. Hey! I like it! I don't care if my voice teacher would be rolling his eyes at the roughness. I belt away.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all of the days of life and
I Shall Dwell In The House Of The Lord For Ever (repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat) SURELY!

Ooooohhhh. It feels so good to say those words, to sing with exuberance and conviction, to be on the far side of a long battle looking back.

I sing myself happy. The trip is so short, the time running out. I have to stop and that is likely for the best considering how long it has been since I have been able to sing like this. My step is lighter, my attitude happier. It is good to be alive.