The Day After

Coming home yesterday, I felt like a bomb about to explode. I knew I had been injected with tons of toxic stuff, but I tried to concentrate on visualizing it as torpedoes seeking out and destroying cancer cells that have invaded my body. As long as I didn't think about the healthy cells being damaged, I could cooperate.

The send home instructions are daunting. If you experience anything on the first list of possible symptoms, call right away, don't wait. If you experience anything on the second list of possible symptoms, let us know during regular daytime hours. If you experience anything on the third list of possible symptoms, don't worry, that's normal.

All the symptom lists were separate for each chemo administered, and rather than shuffle back and forth, I made my own list that combined all the possible stuff from all the possible drugs. Easier to monitor. I also began a cancer log to track how I feel each day and what I took - not to mention things like temp (very important indicator of an infection beginning and those need to be addressed immediately), whether I worked, etc. It might not be easy to remember all that stuff.

Today, I definitely do not feel well. Headache is intense, almost migraine level. Nausea not overwhelming, but certainly I am taking my compazine. I get a prednisone boost for the next 5 days that is supposed to help me get over the worst stuff with more strength - I can't imagine what it would be like without it!

Mostly I am sitting in the blue chair with my feet up and not wobbling about much. I am extremely grateful to my friend Sissie who suggested I get a Netflix account - did you know you can stream old TV shows like I Love Lucy right to your laptop? They say you can view it on your own television, but I haven't figured that piece out quite yet. I'll think about it when I feel better. Meanwhile, a little smile is helpful! (Remember the chocolate factory episode?)

I will definitely go to bed early. Let my body work. I can almost feel the stuff rotating through my system, zapping bad stuff. If this is as bad as it gets, I will be OK. Its tolerable.