Birthday Shoppin'

I hate to shop. I can think of nothing more detestable than running from huge department store to mega mall to supergrocery market trying to figure out how to stretch too few dollars into impressive arrays of consumables. Unless of course I am shopping for somebody I really care about. Don't you just find it irresistible to figure out what makes some else's boat float, what will bring that perfect unabashed smile of unexpected delight to someone's face?

Most of the fun is in guessing what they like. You have to think like they think, stand in their shoes, remember little things they have wistfully said, consider their hobbies and pastimes. Its not easy to step out of your own mindset and put on someone else's bonnet, see the world through different eyes. I dragged the boys into my mall stalking, enlisting their unwilling aid in anticipating what the birthday person might enjoy.

At first, they just gave blithe answers - "sure, whatever." Translation: I am not interested in this. I would rather be home watching a movie. Or eating. Or both. I persist. Really, do you think she would like this? They blink at me, stunned that I am expecting them to think. After a few tentative remarks, they begin to get into the game.

The first few questions were no brainers. What's her favorite color? Butterdish Blue! Everyone knows that. (If you had been there when they built their house, you would have heard the conversation when paint colors were being decided. She tried to describe the particular tint of blue she wanted, and finally picked up the butter dish - this color!) Has it changed recently? Hum. Not sure. I recall that she is collecting cranberry glassware, certainly not a blue hue. There was a conversation about repainting the bathroom, and I'm pretty sure blue was not part of the discussion. Maybe we have not been paying attention.

Does she like chocolate? Stupid question! Has to be a small amount so she won't break out. Make sure its of a particularly excellent quality - something she wouldn't get for herself, a treat. And she's a tea lover, see what you can find to enhance her tea drinking experience. What else does she like? What have you heard her say lately?

The boys rack their brains. "I don't know. You know her better than we do. You tell us." I hold up a plaque - would she like this? No, it doesn't seem to fit her. What about this one? Maybe. Not quite right. A card with flowers on the front? Nice. Roses or sunflowers? Lilies or a whole bouquet of mixed flowers? TOO MANY DECISIONS!!!

I can see the boys are wearing thin. We switch stores and begin the process again. We had the most fun in the candle store. The two towering athletes excitedly explored the scents of all the candles, causing the salesclerk angst since you aren't supposed to open the jars to sniff (right - how do they expect people to discover what they like?).

Two hours later, we finally tear ourselves away from the mall, an armload of little gifts dangling in fancy bags from our hands. At home, I examine each treasure as I wrap them, wondering if she will like stuff, if we hit the mark or if we guessed wrong. Shopping is no fun unless you are engaged in bringing pleasure to someone else. It makes you jump into the head of someone you care about, makes you realize you might not have been paying enough attention, maybe you need to spend more time with them now and not rely on how they were a year ago - or back when you were a child. After all, people change. Ya gotta keep up. If you care. And we do.