Human Iguana

Kiel decided he would dabble in haute couture. I never thought one of my boys would be interested in sewing, but hey - who am I to discourage creativity? His questions involved mostly how to make a suit without doing it in any official way. You know, just lay down on the floor on a piece of fabric, draw around you, cut it out, glue it together, and voila! High fashion!

I tried to suggest he might want to go to someplace like JoAnn's Fabrics and browse the patterns, but that was too complicated. He wasn't after Home Ec, just projecting an image without a budget. The word Zoot Suit somehow entered our conversation, and he was off on a hunt. Before you could say Martha Stewart, I found myself face to face with the greenest, limiest, brightest, neonest cotton cloth I have ever seen. I'm pretty sure it will glow in the dark.

Somehow his seamster (ok, so the male version of seamstress is tailor) activities got all mixed in with his going to help his brother and wife after the birth of their first baby. Perhaps that was good, because he enlisted the aid of his grandmother who, after all, had a sewing machine. I'm not quite clear whether he ever got a pattern to follow (I suspect not), but together he and his Gram ended up with a decent fitting pair of pants, though I worry that the thinness of the fabric will cause an embarrassing incident of exposure sooner than anticipated.

The top of his suit consisted of no sleeves, short tails, and an open front. This part, without benefit of sewing machine, tended to be a bit less finished. Add in a homemade pair of suspenders highly decorated with fabric paint, and viola! Unique apparel.

Still, having seen the outfit on a hanger didn't prepare me for the overall effect. Sometime during the night after I had long gone to bed, the boy ended up with a green spiked mohawk (acrylic paint apparently) and I had totally forgotten about his vibrant green sneakers. He was - what shall I say? Uh, different.

I warned my colleagues that they might see a student dressed a bit unconventionally, but too late. They had already seen him. "That's a LOT of green," I kept hearing. After we all arrived home exhausted from opening day activities, I asked him how it went. He was disappointed that he didn't get many comments. People just stared at him, then went on with their conversations without remarking on his individualistic gear.

Of course, I heard comments - nothing unkind, just a bewildered "wow, he was so green." I guess I was the only one who thought he rather resembled my sister's green iguana. No matter. The ice has been broken, and now we can get down to business.