Puffin' Day

I am beginning to see a cycle. About every two weeks, I wake up in a puffed up state. It feels like all the glands in my body decided to swell, and they press on various other parts of my body. Sometimes it worse above my belt, sometimes worse below. I have come to affectionately call these unsolicited days, 'Puffin' Days.'

These are times when I know I will be slow, when I can't wear restrictive clothes (bras are always out), when I may find I am struggling with a touch of chemo brain. Its difficult to find a comfortable position - can't lower my arms because they press on swollen glands. Can't sit for prolonged periods because it hurts the swollen glands in my groin.

Some Puffin Days are worse than others. When it gets really bad, I have trouble breathing. Today, for example, I have swollen glands all over my head. They are a bit irritating, especially one on the left side of the back of my head, just under my hairline. I am constantly unconsciously rubbing the spot, and have managed to make it bleed. Phooey. There are three glands under my left arm that hurt like the dickens. And the breathing is hampered when I sit for long periods.

I can't seem to tie these Puffin Days to any trigger events of foods. Suffice it to say that when I am tired, they occur more frequently. The other week Drew kept me up until after 1pm three days in a row. I could feel myself getting weaker and more tired, and sure enough, on the fourth day, PUFFIN'!

But today I am not especially tired, and have slept early and well for the last few nights. To make matters worse, I have the 'foot top' thing going. Its sort of like having shingles just on the top of your foot (today its just the right foot). Its a common thing for those who have undergone radiation. It comes and goes at a much slower pace than the gland thing. I maybe experience it once every few months. It does drain you though.

My concern is that I have a conference in Arizona the end of this month. I will need to feel my best and be plenty rested (or totally have the grace of God) to manage that. And it will be followed in June by my work on my master's degree at Concordia, which will also require all my strength. So I am praying about those things.

My breathing prayer today has been [on inhale] Love of God [on exhale] Peace of Christ. It helps keep your mind off your misery. AND puts your thoughts on the strength of the creator, the one who overcame even death, the one who never leaves me, but upholds and strengthens me.

So, I wish for you as well "the Love of God, the Peace of Christ." Hope you aren't having a Puffin' Day.