In my coursework I am reading about the importance of lament. I have never tried to write a lament, but thought I would give it a whirl. Here goes:
Lord???
Are you there???
Can you hear me???
I huddle on the floor, curled up in agony.
Every joint screams with stiffness.
Every muscle writhes with spasm.
My head pounds with the thumping beat of my distressed heart.
My eyes burn.
The soles of my feet are on fire.
I am too exhausted to do other than breathe.
Slowly, air slides in.
Slowly air escapes.
I cannot cry.
I am barely conscious.
They have done it to me again.
I know they mean well. It is all they know.
They put that plastic ID bracelet over my wrist.
They tie me to the ceiling by my hands, my feet dangling off the floor.
They gather around, strategizing.
Then the beating begins. Baseball bats pound my body. Hard whacks well meant.
Enough! I scream, but it is not enough.
They need to beat the cancer out of me.
Over and over they subject my hurting body to relentless injections of poison.
Drink the antidote. Take more poison. More poison. More antidote. It is the only way.
They cram it into every possible place - in my blood, my skin, my stomach, my bones.
Work, damn you. Work. Chase the cancer out. Kill it.
Pound. Pound. Pound.
My helpless body sways and swings with each stressful stroke.
They keep hitting until I am senseless.
Finally, they cut me loose and I drop a bloody mess, a pool of whimpering flesh.
Go home. See if it worked.
I crawl. I creep. I moan.
Lord, where are you?
I collapse in the living room.
Two solitary tears slide down my face.
And suddenly, you are there.
You collect my precious tears, hard evidence.
You place your hand on my head and the thumping calms.
You swaddle my aching body in a warm blanket of love.
You are here. You lift me into the comfort of my soft bed, tuck me in.
You do not leave me. Gently you draw out the pain, the toxic crap, the agony subsides.
You sing to me of beautiful places filled with sunlight and laughter and joy.
It will not always be thus.
You hold my hand and I believe your promises.
I drift off to a peaceful sleep knowing You will not leave me or forsake me.
No matter what.
Chemo Crying
Lord???
Are you there???
Can you hear me???
I huddle on the floor, curled up in agony.
Every joint screams with stiffness.
Every muscle writhes with spasm.
My head pounds with the thumping beat of my distressed heart.
My eyes burn.
The soles of my feet are on fire.
I am too exhausted to do other than breathe.
Slowly, air slides in.
Slowly air escapes.
I cannot cry.
I am barely conscious.
They have done it to me again.
I know they mean well. It is all they know.
They put that plastic ID bracelet over my wrist.
They tie me to the ceiling by my hands, my feet dangling off the floor.
They gather around, strategizing.
Then the beating begins. Baseball bats pound my body. Hard whacks well meant.
Enough! I scream, but it is not enough.
They need to beat the cancer out of me.
Over and over they subject my hurting body to relentless injections of poison.
Drink the antidote. Take more poison. More poison. More antidote. It is the only way.
They cram it into every possible place - in my blood, my skin, my stomach, my bones.
Work, damn you. Work. Chase the cancer out. Kill it.
Pound. Pound. Pound.
My helpless body sways and swings with each stressful stroke.
They keep hitting until I am senseless.
Finally, they cut me loose and I drop a bloody mess, a pool of whimpering flesh.
Go home. See if it worked.
I crawl. I creep. I moan.
Lord, where are you?
I collapse in the living room.
Two solitary tears slide down my face.
And suddenly, you are there.
You collect my precious tears, hard evidence.
You place your hand on my head and the thumping calms.
You swaddle my aching body in a warm blanket of love.
You are here. You lift me into the comfort of my soft bed, tuck me in.
You do not leave me. Gently you draw out the pain, the toxic crap, the agony subsides.
You sing to me of beautiful places filled with sunlight and laughter and joy.
It will not always be thus.
You hold my hand and I believe your promises.
I drift off to a peaceful sleep knowing You will not leave me or forsake me.
No matter what.
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