I haven't had a ripping good case of chemo brain in some time. The fuzzy thinking, inability to multi task and confusion about where to begin and how to proceed was at its worst after the first round of cancer. It slowly petered out after a couple of years. I am glad because it was frustrating to watch yourself be incompetent. Since then, once in awhile, I would find some glaring error I made writing something or calculating something back around the time of a chemo, but these were isolated incidents.
Today, it is apparent to me that I am gently crashing from the most recent chemo. I took on so much steroids and other pre-meds that it is taking a long time to get out of my system. Last night I was aching and restless. My body seemed at odds with itself. I could not concentrate. After "Tuesdays With Esther" (every Tuesday from 7 to 8 pm a group of people gather to make cards for cancer patients - a take off on Tuesdays with Morrie, only instead of focusing on what it is like to die, we are focusing on bringing life and encouragement to those who are wrestling with cancer. Anyone can come - its in the Fireside Room of the Library) I wanted to do some reading for my coursework, but I couldn't do it. I gave up and watched the BBC Sherlock Holmes TV series I rented from the local library.
This morning I was adding up a column of figures, wrote down the sum, then puzzled over it for a moment. It didn't seem logical that adding 150 and 99 would result in a number less than 200. That can't be right. I redid the calculation and came up with a new sum and was happy to have caught the mistake. A few minutes later, my brain insisted that something was still wrong, so I looked at the figures again. Sure enough, it was off. I redid my calculations, then got smart and took out the calculator to make sure it was right. Phew! Disaster averted.
This is totally unlike me. My poor little fuzzy brain was just barely able to realize that my behavior is very chemo brain like. Could be I need to give myself a few days of not doing anything vital (like writing a paper!). I suspect the stress of the big gun meds are at least partially responsible. Meanwhile, I will do more walking and drink more water to flush stuff and trust that this, too, shall pass.
Today, it is apparent to me that I am gently crashing from the most recent chemo. I took on so much steroids and other pre-meds that it is taking a long time to get out of my system. Last night I was aching and restless. My body seemed at odds with itself. I could not concentrate. After "Tuesdays With Esther" (every Tuesday from 7 to 8 pm a group of people gather to make cards for cancer patients - a take off on Tuesdays with Morrie, only instead of focusing on what it is like to die, we are focusing on bringing life and encouragement to those who are wrestling with cancer. Anyone can come - its in the Fireside Room of the Library) I wanted to do some reading for my coursework, but I couldn't do it. I gave up and watched the BBC Sherlock Holmes TV series I rented from the local library.
This morning I was adding up a column of figures, wrote down the sum, then puzzled over it for a moment. It didn't seem logical that adding 150 and 99 would result in a number less than 200. That can't be right. I redid the calculation and came up with a new sum and was happy to have caught the mistake. A few minutes later, my brain insisted that something was still wrong, so I looked at the figures again. Sure enough, it was off. I redid my calculations, then got smart and took out the calculator to make sure it was right. Phew! Disaster averted.
This is totally unlike me. My poor little fuzzy brain was just barely able to realize that my behavior is very chemo brain like. Could be I need to give myself a few days of not doing anything vital (like writing a paper!). I suspect the stress of the big gun meds are at least partially responsible. Meanwhile, I will do more walking and drink more water to flush stuff and trust that this, too, shall pass.
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