Resting

Tomorrow I will find out whether I get my final round of chemo. Part of me wants to have it and be done with this phase of treatment. Part of me wants to wait and be safe, make sure I can tolerate what promises to be the most difficult round yet.

But I can do nothing about it today. Today is Sunday, a day of rest. I have to contemplate what a day of rest means when you are not really working very much. Oh, I piddle and poke at things, but I wouldn't call what I am able to do working hard. So can you rest from being relaxed already?

Most of the work I do is cancer fighting, and I can't stop that just because it's Sunday. My body and the chemo keep on fighting regardless of the clock and calendar. So how then do I rest?

I decide rest means more naps! And I do just that. When I am sleeping, I am out of the way of the work my body is doing, and my mind is at rest. I am not tempted to jump online and check stuff out or wear myself out reading or watching movies.

It feels good to stretch out on my comfy mattress and snooze. I hear the boys playing games in the kitchen, laughing, razzing each other. I smile and roll over to sleep more. Tomorrow will bring what it will bring. Today, I will prepare for it by resting.