Listening

You wonder if your children really ever hear anything you tell them. When first you hold your newborn child in your arms and realize the tremendous responsibility you have of teaching them about the world and how to live, you are overwhelmed.

As days go by, you find yourself talking to them, teaching them cute little songs, telling them "No" to keep them from harm, 'learning' them the a-b-c's. As they grow older, you entrust some of that teaching to others (sometimes out of sheer exhaustion). Then you find yourself repeating everything because they seem to have gotten hard of hearing.

"Pick up your toys. Pick UP your toys. Please pick up your toys." And you wonder. Do they pay any attention to you any more? Do they even hear what you say?

Eventually, you get used to it, and you try to only insist that they listen when its vitally important. Sometimes even that doesn't seem very effective.

But once in awhile, you realize they DO hear you, more than you realize. Like today. I have been fussy and restless. This last round has been the most challenging and I am not comfortable or at ease. I grump about everything and in general, I am not pleasant to be around. I know this about myself. I tell them to ignore me, but I can't seem to prevent the little outbursts. I can only try to keep them to a minimum.

Today the boys had errands to run. They both had gotten paid and needed to prepare for the start of school, getting all those little things that are not on my list. I was happy they got a break, got to do some normal things. It has been difficult for them to watch me go through this last round particularly. I could tell from Drew's posting on Facebook about my last infuzion.

The surprise was when they returned. Neither son earns much money. Both have lots of needs. But both of them quietly spent their hard earned money on a little something to cheer me up, on something they knew that I would like from listening to me.

They were brief conversations, and even I had not given them much thought. But when each son in turn shyly presented me with their gift, it was exactly what I needed to cheer me up, to touch my heart, to bring comfort to my weary soul.

How could I ever think these boys do not listen! Perhaps they do not appear to have their outward ears in working order, but they clearly hear with their hearts. And that makes all the difference. Now if only I could learn to hear as well.