Fellow Traveler

I met with the sleep doctor today. Another test to rule out what is NOT making me feel yukky. We chat for some time about my 8 years of cancer treatments and what that might mean from his perspective. He has treated a number of cancer patients, but my symptoms are not what he normally hears.

It is possible that sleep issues are involved, but he doesn't feel that I have "classic" symptoms. Worth running the tests (thank goodness I have met my deductible and will not have to pay anything out of pocket). He ushers me to the front desk where I sit down to wait for the receptionist to assist me.

We chat while we check calendars, and it turns out she had colon cancer and is on my low fiber, low residue diet (she doesn't mention the no acid part). I ask her what she eats in light of all the restrictions. Here is an opportunity for me to check in with someone who totally understands my dilemma.

She smiles, then says, "Crackers." Really? Yes. She can, like me, eat most meats and white processed bread stuffs. She finds Saltines the most soothing, and we both laugh over episodes of eating forbidden foods that we paid dearly for.

She can't do watermelon - if even the tiniest seed gets through she is in misery. I have had good luck with watermelon so far, but I always get the seedless variety and then am merciless about making sure I only eat the heart where there are no seeds. Not too much because the fiber will get you if you overload.

"So, what else do you eat?" I ask. She thinks for a few minutes, thinking about her recent meals. "Not much. Meat and crackers. Horrible diet. People think I am terrible when I am out in public and I turn down a tossed salad for a roll." I know what she means. I always feel guilty because my diet is so unhealthy. It makes me look like I am undisciplined and uneducated.

Do you know other colon cancer survivors? She does. Quite a few since the disease runs in her family. Their diets have been as restricted as our. She shows me her shoulder. There is an angel tattoo surrounded by different colored stars. She tells me each star is for a family member who has died of cancer. Sisters, parents, siblings, aunts, cousins. Wow. I am sad for her. She is the only one left now. They all died young, but she is my age and has somehow managed to survive. I ask her the secret to her long life. She shrugs. "No idea."

"Maybe its the crackers," I grin.

"Maybe it is," she nods. We will see each other again.