At last! As I head down the hall toward the infusion center, I realize that this is no longer routine for me, no longer a norm in my life. I don't belong here in the cancer center. I have graduated (at least, for the time being). What a terrific feeling!
I still know the way all too well, know the names of the receptionists and nurses, recall the process, know the ropes. But it has been awhile and so much life has been lived, life back to an active and joyful level. It's wonderful - a light hearted release from the bondage of constant medical intervention.
I smile as I wait to be called back and glance out the window. The sun is shining and the skies are summer blue. I can almost hear the birds singing. I take a deep breath and slowly exhale. How good to be alive and feeling well.
They call me back and I joke with the nurse. She is quick about laying out the tray of paraphernalia needed to flush out my port and make sure it stays open and viable. We get that blessed tinge of red on the first try, then the quick zip zip of flush and heparin. She pops the needle from my chest and glues a bandaid over the port prongs. Good to go.
I almost dance down the hallway as I realize that the horrible hold this place has had over me in the past is now just a friendly tug. Yes, I will be back, but my life is going on and improving daily. Sigh. How delicious.
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