Sunday, June 6, 2010

Early to Bed

What is the matter with me? I am so tired. I wanted to do laundry today after church, but I come home, eat lunch, then lay down for a nap. I toss and turn, reading a bit, then snoozing, then starting awake again. My skin crawls and I can't seem to either have energy to get up or calmness enough to sleep. Bah.

The clock near my bed continues to crawl ahead. Hours are passing and they seem like minutes. I should really be doing something. Walk the dog. Play with the baby. Check on Drew. But I lay there and fuss instead. I don't want to get up. Its too early to go to bed. I'm not hungry. In fact, I am a bit nauseous. Maybe a cold drink will help. I wander out to the kitchen and pour myself a tall glass of cold water and gulp it straight down. Good, but not enough. I fill the glass again. Now I am too full to drink.

My skin feels tight and dry. My mouth is cottony. I can hardly see straight. Pooh. I hate this. I don't know what's wrong or how to move beyond it. I finally give up, make a piece of toast to quell my queasy tummy, then go to bed for the night. Let the chips fall where they may. CancerCare told me there would be days like this. Tomorrow will be better. It always is.

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