Theology of Evil, Sort Of

She wasn't big on God, the woman in the waiting room last time I went in for a blood draw. She was probably in her late thirties, accompanying her teenage daughter sporting the tell tale signs of cancer.

The daughter was busy flipping through a magazine looking at the pictures and not really seeing anything. Her face was pale and her movements listless like those with little energy, like someone who would rather be anywhere but in the waiting room of a cancer center alone with her Mom.

The Mom was just plain mad. Her anger lashed out at the receptionists as she demanded this and that. She tongue lashed the nurse who took her daughter's vitals then sent her back to the waiting area. She sat clutching her black patent leather purse as if it were life itself, her face screwed into a stormcloud.

I knew better than to interfere with that! But she scowled at me and asked, "Is this your first time here?" "No," I replied. One word opened the doors to her pent up anger and she spewed her story out in one long sentence. I let it gush, careful to look her in the face and do my best to really listen. She ended her diatribe with the age old question, "How could a God who claims to love us let this happen? What did I do to deserve this!"

There it was, hanging between us, this wound, this betrayal, this horrible hurt. And just then, they called her daughter's name. "I'm sorry for your pain," I said, touching her arm. "I hope things go well." And they were gone.

It's not like I haven't been asked that question before, especially when facing some life disaster. Somehow I think people need to know that what I am going through is attributable to something I did, just to reassure them that they will not have to go through such stuff if they behave. Too bad it doesn't work like that.

Lots of eminent writers have addressed the "why" question, and I admit I have read many of them. It's not an easy question, and the full answers will not be clear until we exit the limited perspectives of this world and see a fuller view of things. For now, I have adopted a kind of simple answer that allows me to move beyond the pointless question of "why" to the more important issues of what to focus on now that the bad thing is here.

If you're interested, here's an attempt to describe my simple paradigm:

We live in a fallen world that is twisted and wicked. It wasn't designed to be evil, but fell prey to a disease. Because of this problem, things don't work the way they are supposed to (can you tell I am not a theologian?)
I envision that being in this world is kind of like being locked in a huge courtyard filled with all sorts of people. At various places there are evil beings who are loading catapults with big balls of mud and rocks. They fire at anyone who comes in range as well as just fire for the fun of it even if no one is near. Anyone who gets hit is not only plastered with filthy mud, but risks being injured by the hidden rocks. Some people get knocked off their feet completely.

The people in the courtyard also harbor ill will and evil sentiments, and they pick up mud and rocks and throw them out there, sometimes aiming at someone, sometimes not. People get hurt. And I myself have less than good thoughts and desires, and sometimes choose to roll around in the mud without realizing the danger it might cause, thinking that somehow I am having fun.

Between these three sources of mud and rock throwing, its kind of hard to stay pristine! What is God's role in all this? Well, I don't claim to understand it all. There are some things I can say. He certainly left us instructions on how to avoid getting hit - and from all three sources! He does not interfere with a person's free will. He does not desire for anyone to get muddy or hurt by flying rocks. If we ask, He cleans up the messes we get into. Sometimes He cleans us up even if we don't ask. He protects us from more mud and rocks than we are aware of. He has an ultimate plan to do away with the courtyard and replace it with a world not broken and twisted.

And my part? As God seeks me out and instructs me, I seek to listen and obey. When I get in trouble, I call out to Him right away and accept His help. I thank Him for his protection and assistance and love. And I look forward to the day when it will all be right and good.

OK, so its not all worked out. But it's a comfortable analogy that helps me keep a better perspective and not take things so personally. If you are in the courtyard, you will get muddy. And maybe even injured through no fault of your own particularly. And God is very active in this world. Otherwise it would have self destructed long ago.

Well, it probably not for everybody. And ten years from now I may have a better understanding and a new analogy. I do pray for that angry Mom though. I hope she will experience the comfort and help of God and come to know that He does, indeed, love His children very much.