Worn Out

All this midnight training and 7am opening of the library has me plumb worn out. I have learned not to push this hard, so I purposely make sure I take mid day breaks, go home, rest up, not over extend. In the old days, I would have just kept going until I dropped (I could hold out longer then). But perhaps my gray hair has actually resulted in a bit of wisdom.

Still, resting in the middle of the day is not the same as keeping regular hours, getting to bed at a decent time, having uninterrupted sleep. My whole system is objecting. My head aches, my throat is raw, my voice raspy, my stomach churning, and most of all, my glands glanding. I know the odd hours will end soon. It is a blip on the radar soon to be long forgotten.

I marvel that I can even attempt this week long push, marvel that I don't collapse as I would have even a year ago. My body is recovering. The joy of knowing that I am created in such a marvelous way as to withstand not only the damage of the horrible disease but also the toxicity of the treatment amazes me.

Truly, I am one of the fortunate ones. So many I know have succumbed to the ravages of disease and/or drugs. I am blessed by the efforts of groups like the Lance Armstrong Foundation who are raising awareness, money, and resources for research and assistance. A time will come, I have no doubt, when cancer will no longer be the death sentence it used to be. Someday it will go the way of polio and whooping cough - a rare incidence here and there, an outbreak in a third world country, totally preventable and treatable.

Meanwhile, today I am thankful that the week of long hours is done and I have not only survived, I have progressed!