Angst

The first day of a new academic year brings with it excitement, expectations, energy, and stress! Some of my staff have found little ways to tell me of their fears - they worry that they will not be able to handle the maelstrom of activity, worry that they will forget something, leave important tasks undone, let people down. It is a natural concern.

Unlike athletes, we do not get to practice for hours ahead of the event, have no opportunity to do warm up exercises. We plan, anticipate, organize, think ahead, and prepare, but suddenly the day is upon us and we are swept along with a forceful tide that has a mind of its own. Rather like experiencing a mini Katrina.

Stuff derails, unravels, fall apart, quits working, develops a bug, and just plain creaks at the seams straining to accommodate everyone, deal with the inevitable meltdowns of freshmen trying valiantly to learn to cope on their own for the first time, learning to deal with the roadblocks and detours as gracefully as they can. Confusion, short tempers, tears spring forth suddenly and clear away at least as fast.

My staff warn me that they may not get things done in a timely way, that they may seem dysfunctional at times, that they will not be their usual selves. I understand. Unlike most people, when things speed up, I am energized. I somehow fly faster, see more clearly, handle more stuff, multi task better. But it is short lived. Like a jet out of fuel, I eventually crash and burn. This year I am guarding against such silliness. I plan breaks, purposely get away at least once a day, remind myself that the library will not fall down in a heap if I am absent for a few hours.

So far its working pretty well. Of course, it has only been one day . . .