Saying good bye

When I took my oldest son off to college more than a dozen years ago, it was hard to leave him there. Sure, I had other sons at home. But he was my first fledgling to leave the nest. He had contracted some sort of bronchitis and was on an antibiotic. I knew he didn't feel well, but he was adamant that he would be fine. We were such newbies at this.

We settled him in his dorm, and they had activities scheduled for the parents while the kids got registered and took care of other business. There was a reception at the president's house and an information session in the chapel where we were admonished to leave our children in their very capable hands and ignore calls of homesickness and not make any appearances until homecoming in late October.

I got calls from his dorm mates that he was deathly ill, not eating, not getting out of bed, not going to class. I called him. He was disgusted that I was bothering him. I let him be. I prayed like crazy. Somehow it all worked out. He managed to survive and thrive and graduate just fine.

So I wasn't expecting a hard time in saying goodbye to Kiel. I've been through this before, and this isn't his first year at ENC. We waited patiently while he found coach and signed papers and got his room key. It took less than twenty minutes to unload all the stuff, then we took him to get groceries. He didn't show his impatience, but I knew he only wanted for us to leave so he could connect with friends and jump into the swing of campus life. He was glad to be back, glad to be out from under my roof, glad to be in control of his own life (even though he was in fact glad that I paid for the groceries). He dutifully gave me the obligatory Mom smooth on the cheek, waved goodbye, and bounded off to see who was arriving.

The trip home was filled with music, tapes of a lecture series, and quiet conversations. I missed him already. My mind was really back in Boston, thinking about what he was up to, noting when he was with the team at their kickoff dinner, smiling that he would undoubtedly stay up late. I didn't miss his clutter when I got home. I won't miss his staying up late or grumpy morning risings. I am happy he is happy and that college is going well this year.

My nest is down to one. Drew is filled with soccer and school and friends and a life beyond mine and has been for a long time. Soon he will say goodbye. Of course, I know good bye is only for a season. Once they have their own identity figured out, they reconnect in stronger, more mature ways. They come back as friends. And that's good.