Mom

Jan went to visit Mom over the holidays. This year, Mom did not experience such a low spirit of depression as last year. It is true that over time, while the ache of missing a husband of nearly 60 years will never go away, the distress tends to be less severe. Every year brings with it some small measure of healing - else we would all end up in a terrible soup!

Unfortunately, my caregiving sister's situation is changing. She is having to seek employment in another state. Her need to move and be in limbo for a certain amount of time, her selling of her beautiful house and needing time to reconnect in a new area will not be something she can do easily if she is still fully in charge of Mom. The commitment of time is too great. My younger sister steps up. Her family lives in California. They spent weeks of time with Mom last year and feel that a change of scenery and care givers might be just the thing to help Mom begin to feel more like her own self.

The plans are discussed. How to get Mom to California in one piece, how to get her car out there so my brother, who has been with her for some long time and who will stay with her in California, will have a way to get Mom to doctor appointments etc. He will drive out, pulling a trailer behind the QE II (Mom's nickname for her Lincoln that is as big as a boat) so that her special bed and equipment can go with her. Deb will fly out with Mom, first class non-stop after Jim gets there to meet them at the airport.

Will it work? No one knows. It is a BIG step. It seems crazy to me. I have already begun praying even though this will not take place until the end of the month. Even after Mom gets out there and settles in a bit, will she take to family life again, kids with their noise and clutter, a dog? Will the wonderful weather and sunshine offset the strangeness of this new land for her? I pray it will be a tonic for her shattered world.

I would appreciate your prayers for Mom too. I love her dearly and it pains me not to be in a position to be of help to her. I am thankful for the fact that there are 8 of us kids and many in a position to help. Care for the aging parent is a community proposition, no doubt about it. God help us all.