Thinking of Michael

Today is my son Michael's day of birth. He would have been 33 today. How can he possibly have been gone for 23 years?? I suspect he is having a wonderful time, he and Dad, doing whatever it is they do in heaven. Every Christmas I try to put something at his gravesite, and to think of some special event or task to do in his honor and memory.

Usually I don't have any trouble finding some service project or charity opportunity that I silently chalk up to my #2 son. He was a tough and exuberant child, unmindful of rules and restrictions. He loved life fully and lived it like no one I have ever known.

Why do I try to do some kindness in his name? After Michael died, I was so surprised to be visited by people who lived in our apartment complex, people I had never met and did not know. But Michael knew them. He was apparently quite social and friendly (and not surprisingly). They came to tell me how Michael had helped them so often. The young mother with several small children whom Michael had entertained. The older woman with the dog that Michael walked for her - every afternoon. The elderly couple for whom Michael took out the garbage twice a week.

I could hardly believe my ears. I couldn't get Michael to take out our garbage or entertain his younger brothers or (if we had a dog) walk our pet. He was always outside running around the neighborhood. I could scarcely get him to come in for dinner! Not until after he was gone did I realize how unique he was for a boy of ten. And now I realize also unique because many adults are not naturally given to goodness and helpfulness and neighborliness.

Well, this year I have yet to settle on something appropriate. I am sure something will become apparent. I just haven't encountered the right thing yet. Not that I lack opportunities to do something good. Just that nothing has seemed the right thing. I have no doubt that I find something perfect.

Meanwhile, I remember his sunny smile and joie de vivre and I am blessed.