Today is the last time I can attend Community of the Savior for the summer. I have extended my time into fall as far as I can. Next week choir begins at the United Methodist Church, and I am excited to be back there working with such kind and dedicated people. I have missed them over the summer and will be glad to see them again.
I soak in and try to store up the service today, hoping it will fuel me in love and grace, preparing my heart for ministry. There was a time I longed to join a monastery. How wonderful it sounded to be able to spend the day in prayer and worship, singing through the Psalms, every hour of the day connecting with God. I suppose it would be uplifting to do that for a period of time, but eventually, I would want to return to the reality of life, to dirty my hands with dishes and laundry, with nurturing and comforting, with feeding and nursing.
Various retreats I have taken in the past have fallen far short of what I would really like to engage in when I set aside time to spend with God. How challenging it is to find the place and the routine that matches what I would do before God. Would that I could completely enter into His presence, ignoring my surroundings, immersed in Word and prayer in whatever way the Spirit unfolds that, completely unaware of time and others.
So far, the closest I have come to what I know of my personal style is in the service at CoS. So today I take myself on a mini retreat and participate fully in the sustenance offered, ready to carry that light into the world. I shall be back, by God's grace. But I also move forward by the same.
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