Resting Up

I didn't think I was still tired, but I must have been. I came home from church thinking that I would work on my dissertation, but after I had lunch, and realized that the boys were off doing stuff, I just sat in the chair a bit doing nothing. Not reading, not watching a movie, not playing with Sugar, not sleeping. Just sitting there.

My brain had no desire to jump into the throes of composer bios or song information or score research. I just wanted to sit. My mind did not engage in deep pithy thinking. My head was not absorbed in figuring anything out. I just sat still. It reminded me of the lazy summer evenings at Grams when the whole family just sat outdoors doing nothing in particular, not even conversing. Just sitting, enjoying life, being content.

We are so locked in to that concept of being productive, of the constant need to DO something. It is foreign, almost a sin, to be idle. We feel guilty about it. Except I didn't today. I enjoyed sitting and being alone and not doing anything. I took a break. It was nice. And quiet. Space to breathe. Permission to be at peace. To fully allow the rest to work in me the needed uplifting of soul.

True, after awhile, I lay down on my bed and snoozed, but I could not have done that until after I completed the resting part. And the sleep was sweet. I woke refreshed and ready for conversation with the boys when they got home. We had a good chat. Easy and full of camaraderie. Sometimes I remember that God did call us to observe Sabbath, to rest. He had his reasons. And they are all good.