Bonus!

I have a meeting in the Administration Building. It's just down the sidewalk from the Library. I am happy for an excuse to get outside. There is a slight chill in the air, but the bright yellow golden leaves practically glow with flame as they flutter in the breeze. Winter is coming, no doubt. But right now it is glorious. I bought a magazine filled with autumn trees blazing red and orange to send to Mom who is in Tennessee at the moment and missing all this splendor.

I tear myself away from the scenery and smile as I enter Rinker. I proudly take the stairs instead of the elevator. Even though I am well over the chemo induced muscle weakness in my legs, I have avoided doing stairs for months, concerned that my still shaky legs would give out and I would take a bad tumble. Not that I had any reason to think that, I just did.

Perhaps it was a ploy to continue being careful of myself. Perhaps not so much about muscle weakness as the overall recovery process needing more time to unfold. Whatever the reason, I have turned a corner after my encounter with the speech pathologist and the muscle weakness of my vocal apparatus and have begun taking stairs once again.

Going up is fine. I have no issues with that. Coming down is another matter altogether. I find myself holding on to the rails with care, watching my feet like a hawk in case I misstep. I don't of course, and I feel like an old woman being so slow and careful. But at least I am taking the stairs. I far prefer the back stairs in the library because they are covered in a rubber coating. The front steps are hard stone and narrow, with little strips on the lip of the step that catch on your shoe.

It may take awhile before I am skipping freely up and down like a young girl, but I enjoy my new found freedom, my lessening need to be watchful, to take care. It is a wonderful bonus. Added to the amazing fall day, a downright grinning smile of joy.