Doctor Blues

I have an appointment with my primary care doctor today. As I drive toward their clinic on the other side of town, I wonder if I should mention the ache and pain I sometimes get in my throat for no apparent reason. Or maybe I should wait and bring that up with the oncologist when I see her in November. I think its a side effect of the muscle weakness brought on by the Bexxar.

Besides, I was thrilled to discover during my week at St Olaf's that after three days of not being able to sing above a middle C, I suddenly got more upper range back. I could manage even a high F! And the overall tone of my voice is clearing up. The raspy wispyness is going away.

I take an inventory. How am I doing physically? Pretty good, actually. My energy is better. I am handling full days of work without having to collapse at night. My digestion has been relatively good. No episodes of tingling in my hands and feet. No more aching joints. Yes, I am doing better.

I am delayed in arrival due to construction, and the doctor is pacing, awaiting my presence. She was about to reschedule me. That's one thing about this clinic. You are always taken in at the time of your appointment. I have not had to wait to be seen here. She tells me she will do what she can in the time left us.

And the boom is lowering. My blood pressure is a bit high. My ankles are puffy. She contemplates adjusting my medication, prescribing a water pill. I resist. I say I have been traveling and now that I am back home, I will be better about walking. I admit that I have been aware of the puffiness and that if I put my feet up, it goes away. She hesitates, then gives me a reprieve.

She will see me again in 3 months and if things are not better by then, decisions will happen. She is right, of course, but I do not want to have to take more medicine. I have taken enough to last a lifetime. Maybe if I am more faithful to walk and more careful of my diet. And lose a few pounds. Or ten. Sigh. I need to behave. And I will. Just as soon as summer ends and I am back to serious work. . .