Maintenance Chemo

How strange it seems to be heading out for chemo once again. True, I will only have to do this once every three months. I am used to doing all sorts of preparation with Prilosec and stuff. This time, I won't even see the doctor first. Just head right to the infusion center. Not even a blood draw. And only one chemo, not five. It should be a piece of cake. No big deal. Just a little chain rattling to keep the gremlins at bay.

My nurse is one I remember from before. She remembers me also. She brings me the usual little plastic cup of pills to premedicate against allergic reactions. I swallow them with my iced tea. Blood pressure, within normal ranges. She accesses my port. We are set to go as soon as the premeds take effect. I am in good spirits and have brought a book on CD to listen to.

Suddenly, the drugs begin to hit. I am groggy, dopey, headachy. Blah. I forgot this part. It will pass though. The nurse returns with IV bag to hang. 50 drops per hour. Not so bad, I tell myself. I chat with the wife of the man in the next section. He sleeps mostly. I exchange pleasantries with a young girl nearby. I run to the bathroom a few times (iced tea always does that to me).

After a half hour, we try upping the drip to 100. Immediately, my feet and legs begin to feel numb and prickly. We drop back to 50. Sigh. This is going to take all day. I never could tolerate the Rituxan well. After several unsuccessful attempts to up to volume, I remember that when I got the Bexxar, it was less symptomatic if I was getting saline solution simultaneously. The nurse is debating whether to give me more decadron or maybe IV benedryl. I don't tolerate the benedryl well.

She agrees to try the saline solution. She hooks it up and pushes up the speed. Minimal reaction. She ups it again. I am holding on OK. We eventually manage to work it up to 300 drips per hour. The headachy drowsy dopey feeling has cleared. The numbness is barely perceptible. I complete the assigned dosage at 5pm. And I can walk out under my own power just fine, thank you very much. I drive myself home.

Yes, if we do the saline solution each time, the impact of this will be minimal in discomfort, maximum in abeyance. I can give up a day here and there for four years to make sure I stay cancer free. It will be OK.