Ash Wednesday

I awoke with both a hacking cough and a sense of the start of Lent. Each Lenten season brings its own focus and impact. Some years I am deeply into self examination, confession, making things right. Other years it is more about disciplining myself by holding to some sort of fast or commitment.

This year relationships come to the fore. How am I treating my children, my grandchildren, my Mom, my sisters, my brothers, my neighbors. So much room for improvement in every area! Do I really listen when Drew tells me about important parts of his life? Not well enough. Pay attention! Do I understand what Kiel is struggling with? Sort of, but I could be more understanding. What about Mark? Yes, what about Mark. Lord, you have to help me there because I am really out of my element.

When is the last time I stopped and chatted with any of my neighbors? Too long. Do I know how the downstairs lady is feeling healthwise? What about the girl who's knee has been so painful? Did I bother to ask the next door woman how the dog's ear is and whether the infection cleared up? No. So uncaring. So wrapped up in myself. This is not right.

Relationship requires TIME and I am not giving it. I cast about for time wasters and immediately think of several things I am doing that could be left off my schedule to make room for people. I have always tended towards solitary activities. I have to work at keeping my connections open and clear.

So this year I do not go about with black marks on my forehead or give up chocolate or wear a hair shirt. This year I set aside movies and leisure reading and early bedtimes to consciously work on reconnecting with those I love. This will not be easy, but it is right.