The Hat

Today I have an appointment with my oncologist (she will be at a conference next week so we meet early). I carefully select a nice ensemble, then head to my hat bin. People have graciously and generously loaned me their favorite hats and so far I have worn a different hat every day. Some are funny, some serious, some elegant, some cute, some particular to a specific occupation. But all of them cover and warm my bald head and make me feel less conspicuous, less of a marked woman.

Today, I select a light beige sportsman hat with a decent brim that snaps up on both sides. I select a scarf that matches my outfit and arrange it so that the ends of the scarf thread through the snapped sides and dangle softly down the back, almost looking like hair. Not a bad effect. I dab on a bit of lipstick and head for the cancer center.

It took longer to park than usual, not sure why there is extra traffic. I still take my time walking to the elevators and heading down the corridor to the center. These days I just don't move fast. Nothing I can do about it so I might as well enjoy the surroundings while I am ambulating.

As I walk along, I notice people are staring at me. I have forgotten about the hat, it feels so comfortable. I assume they are gawking at my bald head. I enter the elevator, greeted by big smiles on the couple already aboard. "Nice hat," comments the lady. "Oh, thank you!" I respond, touching the brim. All the way down the hall people compliment my hat. So does the receptionist who checks me in and several of the patients waiting for their appointments.

The nurse who took my vitals, the nurse who helped me clip those darn port stitches that have refused to rot and drop off like they are supposed to, and my doctor all remarked about my hat. Sometimes you just hit it right! It made my whole day float by with smiles and happy conversation. What is there about this hat in particular that makes people notice and affects them so?

Is it that they want to look like an explorer themselves? Does it bespeak of an era gone by of genteelness and quiet splendor? Does it remind them of some event like polo or an African safari? Whatever it is, I hope they find a way to recreate some sense of that with which they so obviously relate. Meanwhile, I am having a wonderful time pretending to be a lady of means!