Gulik Round Two

So the fluff of being away has begun to settle, and I need to pick up the pieces where I left off. That includes my second visit to the YMCA and establishing a routine for exercising while I still can. Problem is, I don't want to. I have lost the momentum.

I can think of a thousand excuses for not going in, all of them lame but huge roadblocks to overcome. I debated all day Monday whether to call and set up an appointment or whether to just play it by ear and see how things shake out - knowing full well that if I don't have a firm commitment, I will end up not going.

Yeah, you can tell me all the benefits until the cows come home, but like all good cancer survivors, I have more to overcome than the average joe. Most of us were not athletic before the cancer hit, so its not like we knew the ropes, so to speak. And our bodies have not only undergone severe pain and alterations, but now they function differently, and unpredictably. And their functionality changes over time, so we often don't know quite what to expect in a strange situation, like working out in a gym. What if we have an embarrassing accident? What if we trip over our untied shoes and fall on our faces? What if we can't sit well, can't move smoothly, cramp up?

Its risky, being with all those skinny, in shape people while I am not even sure I can make my body do what I tell it to. Its way easier to try to force myself to walk alone in the apartment complex than go through all that. Still, its cold outside now, and my trainer is SOOO nice and gentle and genuinely interested in helping me get in shape in the least painful way possible. Try but don't overdo. Try it and see. If it doesn't work, we have a dozen other things to try.

And I feel so much better afterwards.

And I REALLY want to be in good shape, especially stronger. Especially if I end up having to go through more stuff. Especially since I know I have those darn PET tests coming up again. OK.

I call and make the appointment.

Then the day I am supposed to go, I have a really hard time making myself go. There are a million reasons not to go. After all, I am a cancer survivor and have had a rough time of it. I deserve to take it easy (wow - I gotta get rid of THAT mentality!). Better to think - I am a cancer survivor - I need more work than anyone else to get in shape, I better not miss an opportunity!

And you know what? I went! I am proud of myself for going without anyone dragging me there or talking me into it. My trainer was wonderful. I told her how hard it was for me to get there. She listened with interest. They are having a hard time getting participants in the program. If they can get some feedback that gives them insight, maybe they can find ways to help others.

So I'm gonna tell you - if you are a cancer survivor, please contact the Lance Armstrong Foundation and see if they offer this program near you. THEN SIGN UP AND GO!!!! Really, they make it easy and private and work with you what ever shape you are in and whatever you can manage, even if its just moving your arms. Or legs. Or head. You will feel better. I promise. Where else can you get that kind of personal attention? So, thanks, Lance. Keep trying. This is a really good idea and if you hadn't offered it, I would not have found a way to do this.