Foraging

Oy, can growing boys eat! No matter how much I spend on groceries, there is never enough in the house to make a decent meal. I have tried all sorts of strategies to cope with the "empty cupboard" syndrome, to no avail. If I spend $200 on a Friday (it happens), on Saturday, there is nothing to make a meal out of. Its a mystery where all that food goes! I certainly am not eating all of it, even though I am hardly a skinny minny.



Drew swears he is not eating all of it - after all, he doesn't even get up until noon. And Kiel isn't eating it either since he hasn't even been home much. So there must be gremlins that moved with us from the old place who cavort about the kitchen after midnight consuming stuff out of sheer spite and melodrama.



For awhile, Drew and I spent time in the car before heading into the grocery store mapping out the week's meals and listing the necessary ingredients. That really didn't make much progress and turned out to be more expensive than NOT planning. Scrap that. Then I decided I simply wasn't going to buy any more food until every last scrap of even the most unpopular foodstuffs had been consumed. That was mildly successful, but elicited a great deal of grousing and complaining accompanied by the pouting "My Mother is a lousy parent" look. Not ideal.



We tried the "eat one meal a day" strategy. Not a good idea. We tried the 'carbohydrates only' plan - you know, pasta, cereal, and cookies. Hardly recommendable and Boring. We tried the 'nothing but real food' diet and a zillion other plans including the ever popular "clip coupons and don't buy anything unless its on sale or reduced due to being day old". I have finally reconciled to the $200-a-week-nothing-in-the-house syndrome until somebody graduates and moves on. In the meantime, both boys are required to get a job and help with that. Yeah, good luck with that!



(You boys realize this is a spoof, right?)