Fat Tuesday

I almost forgot what today is! Yes, that day we have our last fling of self indulgence before the severity of Lent begins. How did that begin, anyway? I remember the good Catholics in our school rolling their eyes about meatless Fridays, and the lunch menu always featuring fish sticks. They never mentioned Fat Tuesday, merely dutifully showed up on Wednesday with the gray streaks on their foreheads.

Sometimes, they compared what they were "giving up" for Lent. They would giggle at the idea of giving up liver or spinach or visiting a spinster aunt. One guy told me he was giving up eating spiders for Lent - as if! I don't know what kind of accounting system was used in those days. On your honor, I guess. There were definite brownie points for persevering to the bitter end, and huge rewards on Easter when the communicant could once again indulge in the forbidden item.

I rarely hear anyone talk about foregoing some pleasure for Lent these days. Not fashionable I guess. Especially in this indulgent culture. Seems like an advisable activity on the basis of discipline alone. My question is, if you aren't giving up anything for Lent, do you deserve a royal Fat Tuesday?

I mean, really, has it become just an excuse for acting out, eating excessively without guilt, drinking yourself oblivious, behaving - shall we say - on the easy-squeezy side of things? I haven't serious given up something for Lent in a few years. High time I got serious about repenting, about examining my behavior, about feeling remorse for things left undone, about being serious and reconnecting with God.

So I am not indulging in a fat Tuesday this year. No last minute pigging out, wasting resources, etc. Rather, I am stuck on a fence, knowing what I should "give up" and not wanting to; rationalizing all the arguments I can dream up to forget it and just go about business as usual, all the while knowing I must let go and stick to a decision.

I shall not tell you what I am giving up. Then if I fail, I shall not have to admit my humanity. (Is that a recipe for failure?). I hope I do not have to deal with the disappointment of an unsuccessful venture. Do I have what it takes? (aka backbone?). Haven't done it voluntarily for awhile, I shall see. Stayed tuned!