What???

I worked one of those killer days yesterday, you know, the kind that begins at 7am and you get home around 9:30 at night. MLK day means staff have off and librarians hold down the fort. For me, that means covering the areas I supervise, so staying at the Circ Desk all day, fielding questions from the computer lab, reserves, interlibrary loan, the stacks - plus reference when needed.

It was quiet in the morning, only a handful of students and community members defied the cold and the temptation to sleep in. Activity picked up as we neared noon, then settled into a normal busyness as the day wore on.

I always find these times enlightening. Things one does not normally encounter tend to cross the desk on such days, and I always see places where process needs improvement, where there are gaps in service, where the collection should have more organization, etc. Its a day of adding tasks to my already full task list.

I managed to break away at lunch and scoot home to check on Drew who was engaged in a show about buying houses in Aruba. It was filled with interesting information about the architecture, a field he is increasingly interested in. I filled up on soup and fruit while he chattered away, commenting on the program.

Then back to the library for the grueling afternoon/evening marathon. OK, not grueling really. Just long. My energy levels have been sapped by the flu, and I have to admit that by 7 pm, I was flagging, barely managing to hang in there until the 9 pm appearance of the evening building supervisor.

Then my cell phone rang. I stepped into the back area to take the call from my oncologist's office. It was a reminder about my procedure tomorrow.

Wait. I don't *have* a procedure scheduled for tomorrow. What is this about? I'm scheduled to have a biopsy TOMORROW? I don't think so. No one told ME about it. I have to see the ENT first. Who is doing this biopsy? Radiation? They don't do biopsies. This is all wrong.

The nurse is a bit befuddled. Apparently I am the second patient this evening who didn't know about an appointment. Besides they didn't have any bloodwork so they had already faxed a request to the lab so I could have that done before the 10am procedure. Bloodwork? My head is spinning. My insides are screaming 'no way.'

I patiently explain to the nurse that I can't possibly drop everything and have a biopsy tomorrow. Besides, I am still getting over the flu and a cold, and *all* my glands are swollen. They don't stand a chance of getting a good sample. I was told that I had to see the ENT doctor to even determine if it was possible to get a biopsy. I'm pretty sure the ENT will schedule that procedure. The nurse is reluctant to let me off the hook. After all, its on the schedule. I am adamant. It may be on their schedule, but it sure wasn't on mine! You can't expect me to show up for something I don't know about!

She finally acquiesces with a strong admonishment to call my doctor first thing in the morning, just in case she still wants me to have it done. I call the doctor this morning. They are puzzled. They will look into it and call me back. They call me back, and the doctor has given her permission for me to skip the biopsy for today, as long as I keep my appointment with the ENT on Thursday. Permission? Hah! There is no permission involved here.

I explain AGAIN that I was not told about the biopsy. No one called me to say that it had been scheduled, or to tell me who was doing it, or to inform me about the bloodwork, pre-op non-eating - nothing. They don't get it. They repeat that I have permission to skip today's biopsy. Idiots.

I am beginning to think I missed something. True, I changed my appointment with the ENT because I wasn't feeling well. And when I last left the oncologist, I knew she was scheduling an appointment with some radiology department somewhere to see if there was anything they felt they could do - I assumed to address whether or not they thought radiation would be appropriate at this juncture. But the receptionist told me they would let me know when they were able to schedule that - and I'm pretty sure it wasn't to do a biopsy! The only thing she scheduled before I left was the ENT appointment.

Maybe I am losing my mind. Maybe I totally misunderstood. I'd like to think I am a reasonably intelligent person who grasps basic concepts and can follow a train of thought. Well, there's no help for it now. I "have permission" to sit this one out. I am thinking its the hand of the good Lord keeping me safe. Now I just have to figure out where the darn ENT is located. God help me if I mess that one up!