Hallelujah - for the most part!

As soon as I opened my eyes in the morning, I was aware of what day it was. Today is the day I see the doctor for the results of the biopsy. I try to put it out of my mind as I shower and urge Drew to hurry. I shiver in the cold of the frosty fall morning, hugging my coat about me and sliding my gloves over cold fingers.

I would have 2 hours at work to prepare for a teaching session on Monday before I had to leave for the appointment. I should have concentrated on putting together the materials for the session, but I just couldn't focus. I did lots of little things that didn't require much more than willing hands.

Time was dragging. At last, the reminder for the appointment popped up on my computer, time to go. But I procrastinated, fussing with one thing and another until I was worried I would be late. How crazy! Get in the car, drive down Westside Drive to Buffalo Road, take 531 to 490 to downtown - no, wait! That's the wrong direction. I should have taken 390. Too late.

I rethink my path and soon I find myself on Mt Hope headed towards the cancer clinic. I can't believe I have butterflies in my stomach. The closer I get to the parking garage, the more active those butterflies get. Its rather like when someone tells you to close your eyes and they steer you to somewhere you don't know where to surprise you. You aren't sure whether you are going to be happy or upset when they tell you to open your eyes. You're not sure you want to know!

Fortunately, they do not keep me in suspense long. The Doctor tells me that they were able to get lymph tissue in the sample and
IT WAS *NOT* CANCER!!! Yeah!!!
Great news. We have settled once and for all - wait - she is still speaking. "Of course, we have to continue to be watchful, so we will run another round of tests. . ."

Can I be hearing that right? But she remembers that I am uncomfortable with the MRI injection stuff, and decides that she can monitor the progress of the lymph system with just the PET scans. So she wants to re-do the PET scan four weeks from the last one - first of December. Then if its 'fairly stable' they can wait 2 and a half months before they will need to do another one, then depending on what they find, 3 months etc until we get to the 6 month time frame. And then, if its not cancer, we need to figure out what it *is*.

But its good news. Really.

I head for the discharge desk. I don't know whether to be relieved or not. But my feet decide for me. Before I realize it, I am dancing. I dance at the receptionists' desk, I dance down the hall to the elevator, I decide I am not going to drive back on the expressway, but celebrate this victory. In the parking lot I see the medivac helicopter land on the roof, and I step to the edge of the concrete structure and wave like crazy. They helicopter is making a ton of noise and I yell "It's not cancer!" into the wind.

I take the back roads, stopping at Dunkin Donuts for a Wildberry Smoothie. I tell the waitress that I am celebrating a good report from a biopsy and she congratulates me. I relax in the car slurping away while I watch the helicopters take off and land at the far end of the airport where the military operations are.

Suddenly I am aware of how blue the sky is, how bright the sunshine, how glorious the colors of the autumn leaves. What a great day! I head back to work, singing. I sing 'Thank you, Jesus!' and make up melodies. I try to tell myself that I knew it all along, even at Yale, but I know how happy I am to hear the truth confirmed. It's not cancer. It's not cancer. You are free and clear.

I hear the "for now" part from the rest of what the doctor said. But I will not stand under that ledge unless I have to. I will leap for joy, I will be grateful for the reprieve, I will be happy and thank God for good results. And tomorrow, I will find a way to walk in God's good earth and tell Him how much I appreciate Him.