Enlightening

If you want a real lift in your spirits, you need to find a lighting store and experience a kilowatt surge! Saturday we went to Home Depot to find a light bulb for Drew's desk lamp. It requires a high intensity bulb, and the usual haunts don't carry them. Drew was overwhelmed when we entered the store and immediately wanted to wander in every direction and gawk at all the "cool stuff." He did manage to hang with me until we found the right light bulb, but then took off to explore.

While I was waiting for him, I found myself drawn to their lighting section. If you have never been, I highly recommend it. Pick a large Home Depot - one with at least ten aisles of lights. You will be amazed and wonder how they manage to stay afloat after paying their electric bill!

They have every type of light, lamp, ceiling fan, fixture you can imagine. They use glass light bulbs, the new spiral ones, halogen, laser, and solar. With dozens of lights on, you feel the warmth of their glow literally as you approach each aisle. Some aisles feature mood lighting, some outdoor lighting, some dining room lighting, some living room lamps. One whole aisle had motion sensor lights, and as you walked down the aisle, each lamp turned on with your passing - how cool was that!

I wandered from aisle to aisle, soaking in the light. Sometimes I just stood and enjoyed the brightness, the variety of style, the warmness. I found myself walking slower and slower, repeating some aisles, wishing the trip would not end. Light. It is an amazing thing. You can't help feeling better when you are exposed to it. It lifts your spirits.

And I needed that for today. Once again I tried to get an appointment with the oncologist here. I endured endless transfers and 'on-holds' but I persevered. Finally I was told that unless I am in a crisis, I am not likely to get an appointment for at least 4 or 5 weeks. I explain the situation. She agrees that I should probably be seen earlier, but that I would not be given an appointment until my Yale clinic had sent my records. Problem? Yale likes to burn the info to CD and mail it. This clinic will accept only faxes. She tells me to call Yale and ask for a fax. I remember that my records are carted about in paper in boxes - file folders can't hope to contain it all. It would take an army days to fax all that stuff unless they can somehow transmit from their computer. And to print it all out? That would take a forest!

I call Yale. They explain that they cannot release my information until they get a fax from here requesting it. Some HIPA rule. For my protection. The medical records woman tells me that if the clinic won't cooperate here, to call her back (I reached her in less than a minute) and she will call them and straighten it all out. I call the clinic here. They have gone home for the day. Try again tomorrow. Take a deep breath. Remember the warmth of the light.

I am David. I can take on Goliath. God will show me how. But it better happen soon. I am beginning to have some problems and I know time is running out. 8 weeks to way too long to be struggling with the system. Give me a break. There must be a way to get into this darn clinic somehow. My patience is wearing mighty thin. I'd like to smack somebody, but I have no idea who. All I have are 16 different phone numbers (everytime I call I am given a different number that I 'should' have called) and a bunch of faceless voices. These people are beserk.

I am documenting for all I am worth. Someday perhaps I can use the experience to improve others chances of getting seen quicker. For now, I'm going home soon and slide into bed with a sigh. Tomorrow is another day. Maybe I will have better luck.