Magic

Every morning it is a struggle to convince Drew to get up early enough to be ready to leave on time. Every night it is impossible to get Drew to go to bed on time, especially when his brother stays up half the night. It does no good for him to set his alarm - it goes off and he simply does not hear it. It does little good to open his door, touch his shoulder, turn on the light, open the curtains, call his name - he half rouses, then lays back down and falls asleep again.

I have to call him repeatedly, shake him, rattle things, make noise - its very trying to have to stop whatever I am doing to call him again and again. He usually manages to finally get up a minute before we have to go out the door, slide into his pants and shoes and tumble into the living room. Hardly an ideal system.

Once in awhile I resort to drastic measures such as pouring cold water on his head - which does not make him very happy. Me either. So I have been thinking. What would motivate him to get up without this whole faulderaul? I refuse to be part of this little drama. I tried to remember what made me get up when I was his age. That wasn't too helpful since I have always been an early riser, and the eldest daughter and therefore unconcerned that I match an older siblings behavior.

While I was cogitating on it, Drew asked about getting an allowance. I have always been adamantly opposed to giving children money. I feel that if they get a piece of the loaf it will be because they have contributed to its creation. Drew and I tried the chores idea before, but there was no way for me to enforce it, and he only half did the assigned tasks. So we ended up without any formal agreement over it.

I reminded him that he would have to work to earn an allowance. We went to bed with it still on our minds. In the morning, I suggested we create a point system. He could choose to earn points by doing various chores. If he chose not to do them, he wouldn't earn any points. There would be demerits for certain undesirable actions like forgetting to brush his teeth before bed or being disrespectful to an adult. We would document everything, and I would have to sign off on the task as being satisfactory. At the end of two weeks (my pay period), we would add up his points, subtract any demerits, and he could collect a "salary" based on his work.

He thought it over and agreed. We drew up the contract. The first night, he was in bed asleep before I checked to see if he was getting ready. In the morning, he popped out of bed before his alarm rang. It was pure MAGIC! I couldn't believe this was the same boy! I came home that night to find the dishes done, the floor swept, the rug vacuumed, and the garbage taken out. Gasp!

The next day the same thing. Now the laundry was done, the bathroom sparkling - wow! Why didn't I think of this a long time ago? Then the bomb dropped. According to the system, I owed him $30 after just two days. Wait. Something is wrong here. I talked frankly to him about how I couldn't afford to pay him $75 a week - I would go broke!

We renegotiated. We agreed to a ceiling on the earning potential so my wallet could survive. He calmed down a bit with his zeal. Now I come home to reasonable cleanliness, and he is happily adding up points. The best part is that the morning is easier as is bedtime. I think he is happy. I know I am. He already spent some of his hard earned dough on a few things, including taking his friends to the pool ($2 fee for each guest).

I just hope this continues to work once school starts! I love it when a plan works.