Packing

When the initial diagnosis of cancer was pronounced, it was in September. By October I knew I was likely to be recovering from surgery and not up to doing any shopping for Christmas. I decided to do my Christmas shopping early, and took a weekend - fortunately before the meltdown - to go to an outlet mall and select gifts for my boys. Turned out to be a good idea. By Christmas time I had been through the mill and looked like death warmed over.

This time around, I am facing moving. We had decided that as soon as Drew is done with the school year (June 22) we would move to a less expensive place. Even though I will not see the gyn-onc (what an odd label!) until May 15, its a pretty safe assumption that when I want to move, I will not feel up to my normal level of abnormal activity. So this past weekend I loaded up with empty boxes and planned to fill them with unessential stuff.

Unessential stuff. There's an interesting phrase. I remember what my parents went through when Gramma Appleby passed away - weeks of spending the whole day discarding nearly a century of collecting. How amazing to plow through the contents of a dresser and find brand new unwrapped unworn smocks, or discover down cellar hundreds of canned goods carefully put away and dated and definitely past the expiration time! Some was valuable, some stuff they had to pay to get rid of. Why do we keep so much stuff?

I think of the people who had their things stripped from them by natural disasters - floods, fires and the like. What do they miss the most? Pictures of people long gone? Memories of good times? Special gifts from their loved ones? I have to say, there is nothing in my apartment that I couldn't live without - except Drew of course. In fact, I suspect I really wouldn't miss much of anything if I had to leave it all behind.

Who would want half the things I find valuable? No one would want my scribbled notes or my half used lipsticks. I toss with abandon. Why would I keep an unopened bottle of hand lotion that I don't like the smell of? Into a pile of things acceptable to give away. Why do I keep that dress that no longer fits? To the GoodWill. These are decisions I wouldn't wish on anyone else. Shoot - *I* don't even want to wade through stuff and guess what I should keep and what I should 'delete'. Who can define that fine line between responsible stewardship and selfish gluttony?

Turns out packing is a bigger deal than I thought. I have kept belongings to a minimum except for my music and research materials. Since that's the heaviest and largest amount of material, I decided to start with the 2 bookcases and 2 CD racks in my room. First off, I didn't get through with normal weekend cleaning and laundry until late Saturday, so no packing then. On Sunday after church I was tired and lay down for a short nap that lasted until 6pm! I had little desire to tackle such a daunting project so late in the day. Time to regroup.

I set a more reasonable goal of getting just one box packed. I selected my hymnal collection, and started packing. Every ten minutes or so I paused for a drink of water or to check on Drew or just sit a minute. In the pre-cancer days, I would have easily had a dozen boxes done in an hour. Now I managed a box in half an hour. But never mind. It was progress. I carefully label each box so I can find things if I need them before I move. So that when I am in my new place, I will be able to put the box in the right room (especially important if I am paying someone to do this because I am still tender from surgery).

I ended up packing four boxes before I ran completely out of steam, and I made myself stop even though my normal wont is to push through until I can't move. But I realized I would need enough uuumph to 'normalize' the room. After all, you can't pack without creating a bit of chaos, setting things out of the way, discovering stuff that needs to be discarded, finding those odd items that are out of place.

After all that effort, I managed to clear away 1 shelf of CDs and a shelf and a half of books - yikes! Of course, in the way, way back of my mind is the nagging thought that I could be making it easier to permanently break up house for the executor of my will. And so, next weekend I will fill a few more boxes, sort a few more piles of things, put a bigger dent in the stack. And thank God I don't have a 20 room house to sort through.