Happy Anniversary

Can it be possible that the kids have been married a whole year already? Wow - the time has flown by. They are busy learning to be together, to walk smoothly through life's bumps. They are doing fine. They have work to do and I sometimes wish I could make their path easier, but I cannot.

I asked my daughter-in-law if the first year had been all she had expected. She hesitated, then answered, "I'm working on it." Hum. I thought back to my first year of marriage. I was so young, so naive, so clueless. But somehow life's lessons get through and you slowly manage to gain understanding and savvy. Especially when kids come along. Amazing how fast you grow up when someone is totally dependent on you for everything!

In the meantime, they will find their way as we all do. Hopefully they will end up with the kind of mature relationship that sees them well into old age together amicably. To celebrate, we all go to the dollar movies and have ourselves a good laugh. It's nice to be close enough to see each other from time to time, yet not be under each other's feet.

Buried in Paperwork

Today I have one goal: finish this paper. But how silly I was to pray this morning in my devotions, "Lord, let me do what you want me to accomplish today." What was I thinking? I had not even asked what he wanted me to do today. I already had my marching orders. Go to my office, bury myself in the sources, and complete that darn paper!

But God had other plans. Usually when I am in my office but not officially at work, no one bothers me. Today was completely different. No sooner had I started writing than a timid knock on my door brought a student worker with questions. I took care of the situation, settled in again and had just begun when another person entered and began a long litany of troubles. I listened with concern - which was really all that was needed - but must admit to fidgeting a bit after an hour flew by and no sign of resolution appeared. Finally she was able to feel satisfied and left, and I took a short break. On returning to my office, I was greeted by another person in need of talking to someone, venting anger, spewing venom so as not to make an injury to the deserving party. Once again I listened. This was getting downright hilarious!

This scenario was repeated several more times, and finally, late in the afternoon, having accomplished absolutely nothing on my paper, I gave up, brain dead now, and headed home feeling defeated. After all, I had an agenda for the day and accomplished none of it. Then I remembered my morning prayer. Perhaps what I managed was to inadvertently go along with God's agenda for the day. Too bad I didn't realize it as I was going through it. I would have paid more attention! And that being the case, I stopped fretting about my paper. After all, if God asked me to set that aside for a bit and do something more necessary, he will open up the time to do the less important work of completing an assignment. I am content.

Happy Birthday Mom

Today is the day on which my mother was born. I can barely imagine the old clapboard house, dark with age, setting in the middle of nowhere at the time, where Mom was born. Gram was not supposed to be able to have another child, but God saw things differently. He endowed Lillian with her father's quick wit and wry sense of humor, with her mother's stubbornness and determined persistence. She learned to be a scrapper from her older brother who lorded it over the roost.

Mom sometimes talked about going to bed in a house without central heat, of warming bricks in the wood stove, wrapping them in cloths, and putting them at the foot of her bed before having to jump into the icy sheets. She told tales of chamber pots and outhouses, of summer kitchens and chickens, of her father working on the first cars and getting a contract from Skippy Peanut Butter to keep their trucks running.

She told stories about cats and dogs and hating math in school, of living with relatives like her grandparents, of Christmases with homemade decorations, of the smell of coffee and bacon. Then came college and falling in love and birthing twins and losing one she never saw. I think she never did come to terms with the death of Philip, but she was filled with spunk and hard work and a strong work ethic that she embossed on her children.

Still, she had a loving and tender heart. She read to us every single night, long before that was the thing to do. She saw that we celebrated all the holidays fully and never seemed to tire of making Halloween costumes and doll clothes and beautiful quilts. I never quite figured out how she learned her parenting skills. Surely not from her Mother, though Gram was a remarkable woman. But Mom was so much more gracious and thoughtful, so concerned that her children be treated well even though we did not have much money.

She taught us survival by surviving. She taught us the importance of education even though she did not hold a professional career position. She taught us to notice what was going on with others and to do something about it. She tracked the important stuff and left us a lifetime legacy of rituals to pass on to our children.

Though she languished at the end of her time here on earth, she was loved and cared for just as she had loved and cared. Now that she is with Philip and Dad and my son Michael, I hope she realizes that we love and remember her especially on this day, and thank her for all she did while with us. Love you, Mom. Happy no-longer-counting birthday.