Foot Care

Today I decide a little pampering is in order. Predictions for Friday include temperatures into the 80's - sandal weather! But my feet are a mess. I haven't paid much attention to them and lately they have been aching and burning a lot at night. I figure its some sort of residual from the treatments, having experienced this sort of thing before.

I have a port draw mid morning - same old same old - and then head for the mall to find that little nail place. It is completely devoid of activity. One skinny Asian gentleman is surfing the web, one obviously pregnant woman is sitting in a chair sipping an iced coffee. No one looks up as I walk in, and I stand there a few minutes until the guy realizes I am there.

I tell him my mission and select a peachy color of polish while he fills the foot basin. He carefully lays out various implements and motions me into the chair. I plunge my feet into the warm swirling water and sigh contentedly. He wanders off, leaving me to enjoy the warmth after providing a bottle of cold water for my hydration.

The pregnant woman saunters over, grabs a little stool and seats herself comfortable in front of the station where I am seated. She speaks fluent Asian of some sort, with a soothing intonation and gentleness that is matched by the movements of her hands. She is careful and deliberate in her motions, thorough in her ministrations. I close my eyes, reveling in the comfort, little shivers running up and down my body.

I wonder how she cuts without drawing blood, how she clips without slipping, how she knows every little spot in my foot to press so the tension is released and drained. She drapes a hot towel across my legs and slathers on minty lotions and creamy potions, massaging them deep into my dry and withered skin. Not just winter dry. Chemo dry. Radiation dry. She has no idea, but I do. My skin drinks it in greedily.

As she paints my nails, I look at her in wonder. How did she come to work in this great salon? When is her baby due? Will she keep working? She seems to get along so well with the other technicians - is she related? Does she like this kind of work? Does she mind caressing the feet of total strangers, people who don't even speak her language, people who's customs seem strange.

I suddenly think about Jesus washing the disciples feet. Such an intimate and loving act. What would I have thought if Jesus washed my feet? Would I have sat back and basked in the wonderful comfort, as I am doing today? Would I have said with Peter, "I am not worthy?" Would I have felt shame? Been totally immersed in his love? Worried about how stinky and dirty my feet were?

Tomorrow at the Maundy Thursday service there will be a foot washing. Last year Sherri said she was going to have us wash each other's feet. Will I be up to the task? Whose feet will I be required to wash? Will I be able to do it in total love? Will I really mean it? I don't know. I will have to ask God for grace.

Meanwhile, I snuggle down beneath the drying lights and wait until it is safe to put my socks back on. It will be a long wait, but I don't mind. It is quiet. The technicians sit in the pedicure chairs and sip cool drinks as if they were at the beach and chat softly, waiting until I am done. It is a peculiar sensation, but I must admit, my legs and feet feel a lot better than they have in a long time.

I smile and take a deep breath. Tomorrow it will be my turn. I make a memory inventory of how she washed my feet. Perhaps it will help me make someone else feel better when I am kneeling at the other end of the towel. I wonder if there is such a thing as a heart washing. Maybe I can sign up for that while I am at it.

Looong Day Hurrah

I didn't plan it. It just evolved on its own. I didn't even realize the magnitude of my calendar commitments until the day before. Suddenly I realized that I am working from 7 am to open the library until 10 pm to assist with a field trip to Sibley Music Library. In between, I get to teach 2 classes, attend another class, work at the circulation desk, and attend a meeting about creating a survey for alumni.

Hey! This sounds like a normal day pre-cancer! Can it be that I am back to some sort of normal schedule? Can I actually handle it? I don't know, but I am going to try. No taking extra caffeine to propel me forward. No, this is by the book. Let's see what condition the old chassis is in! I don't have to be to work tomorrow until after noon, so if I collapse, I have time to recover. Besides, its just one day.

And so it unwinds little by little. I decide to take a bit more time during my 3 pm lunch to hedge my bets for the evening session. Will I make it? I am not flagging and drooping at 5. This might work. I so love helping students find resources at my old stomping grounds. I circulate from student to student answering questions, directing to the floor with that call number. I am having a ball.

A gentleman who has been sitting nearby, not with our group, asks me to help him too. I don't even bother to tell him that I don't work there, I just answer his question - turns out he is from Philadelphia, a faculty on break and absorbing the wonders of Eastman Library. It feels good to connect him with what he needs. Perhaps I haven't lost my touch after all.

By 10 pm as we head for home, I am tired but not weary. It has been a wonderful day filled with joyous, fulfilling work. Yes, I am starting to be able to do more, to tire less, to think clearly, to feel productive. It is good. It is very good. And I am confident that I will sleep well and not be a rag tomorrow. I may not be entirely back to snuff, but I sure am getting there.

Saying Thank You

Two faculty here at Roberts spent much time with library staff to help us work through a time of strategic planning, to think about what sort of library we want to be and to identify how to become that kind of library. It only makes sense for us to grown into our lovely new building and become the library of the administration's dreams!

Our conversations were well guided, keeping us on task and not letting us be sidetracked. Our statements were challenged by people who have little vested interest in political machinations or social agendas. If this, then that? Skip this, then what? Every session brought new ideas, new concerns, new avenues of investigation.

They kept coming back until we had worked through the blue sky thinking and the practical planning and could flesh out in ink the exact measurable goals we needed to accomplish in order to become the library of everyone's dreams. Then they left us with an open invitation of help if we needed them. No one paid them for their consultation, their preparation, their time. They love doing this and have a real heart for the organization.

How do you thank someone like that? It's not easy. We planned a little social event in the Fireside Reading Room to break bread - or rather coffee cake - and sip coffee and let them know how much we appreciate their help. A small gift certificate, and some shared reflection, a moment in time to stop what we are doing (working on those goals!) and appreciate their gift of time and expertise so freely given.

Our conversation was that of close friends who reflect on times past with fondness and await a good future together. It was a knitting of our separate "silos" in ways that will fuse many areas of our interactions into a delightful and strong fabric. This is part of what makes working here so special. What a relief to be on a team that is working for the same good goals, upholding high standards, and encouraging one another to keep up the good work. They fully acknowledge the issues honestly but without losing that positive approach.

It makes me want to work even harder to "get there." And looking at our current efforts and summer projects, I have every faith that we will!