Possible Intervention?

I had pitched the idea of having a family intervention to Kiel, but he vetoed the idea. Just let it ride. He felt he could convince Mark to leave the kids there at least until the end of summer, maybe longer. If I press the issue, Mark will grab the kids and run. Sigh. It is the same impasse I reached about Dan. I let it ride then and ended up with no recourse at all. Things were taken out of my hands entirely.

I should have done something then. I can't help but feel that I should do something now. But I resist. I want to find some way to get through to Mark that his kids are important and have needs. Mark doesn't even have a phone dependably and even if he did, he wouldn't talk to me on it. So I wait. It is a mistake, but I wait. At some point, this will come to a head and I am hoping I will have the opportunity to try and help. I suspect whatever happens will go quickly and I will not get my chance. We shall see. For now, the kids are doing well and relaxing and learning and progressing and I am blessed about that.

But at the same time, my heart is breaking. How did things ever get so mixed up!

Mom's Dying

It's not a call you want to get. Mom is not well. She started throwing up, and after a day or so, they took her to the ER, figuring that it might not be a flu. They discovered that her colon has stopped working. They did everything they could to jump start it, but no luck. In a younger person, they would remove the colon and give her an ostomy, but Mom is too old and weak to survive such a surgery. They try enemas, medicine, manipulation and IV pushing. Nothing. There is nothing more they can do for her, so they send her home.

We are officially on death watch now. Mom can't take any food because there is nowhere for it to go except back up. She drinks fluids, but barely tolerates those. This is agonizing. I FaceTime every day, and Mom always says she is not doing so good. I pray. She wants to go home to the Lord and be with Dad. All the kids are notified. It is time to let her go. We are sad but know it is right.

I feel as if part of me is dying with her. She has been a mainstay in my life and I have already missed her tremendously. I felt like I just reconnect with the FareTime option, and now time is running out. I remember when her mom, my gram, passed. It was such a deep and profound loss. I have a hard time imagining life without Mom there. I spend hours praying for God's peace to be on Mom, for her passing to be gentle and easy, for her not to be in pain, for her happiness. She was so worried that I would die before she did. I understand not wanting to watch someone you care about go through their final days here on earth. God's grace will get us all through. Dear, dear Mom.

No Walk with Cindy

I still am not feeling fabulous. I have arranged with my downstairs neighbor to walk every Monday and Wednesday. She has fibro myalgia and arthritis, so its hard for her to move. I have cancer treatment impediments and need a lot of motivation. Together we both hope we will move more if we keep each other accountable. So far, we haven't walked together even once due to weather issues mostly. Tonight I am just too blah feeling to walk. I call her and beg off. She is also not feeling well. Mutual decision. Maybe next week. If we could just get started we might be able to sustain it. Tonight though, I am just going to bed.